


Cursed to thrive

by Ksfly180



Series: The Cursed Walkers [3]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Family Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-06-29 19:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 42,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19837246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksfly180/pseuds/Ksfly180
Summary: The extension is complete and the baby is born.  There is no governor or claimers to fear but life isn't without its hardships.  Their greatest strength is the community becoming whole.3rd in the cursed walkers seriesNot sure how it got deleted but I'm reposting





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For those who were reading the cursed life story, I've pulled it because it was getting darker than what I would like. It wouldve had them loose everything and start all over from scratch with only a handful of people. I may still have them face some of those challenges but not all.  
> Thanks and hope y'all enjoy😊

Chapter 1

The cleanup of the herd took three days of constantly burning bodies. The horrendous smell seemed to seep into everything. The animals were agitated and the people constantly nauseous. We were all grateful when the winds turned to push the smell away on the third day.

It was dangerous work. We sent out groups of threes, with up to four people acting as armed guards, to move the bodies. The group's would work for two hours before switching out with the next group. That way no one is worked to exhaustion.

Both Daryl and Merle have been out there either guarding the groups or moving the bodies. They come back each night reeking of burning bodies and sweat. I've had Micah help me pour up water in the bathtubs so they can both clean up when they get back.

They've been grateful for it but they've also complained about the waste of water. I've teased them that the kids can't handle the smell either so their bathing is more for us. Merle laughed, offering to dunk them in the pond next time. 

At least they're keeping a sense of humor. Although their appetite has suffered as much as the rest of us. We've stuck to soups or peanut butter sandwiches and avoided meats at mealtime.

I've been staying home with the kids, wary of leaving the safety of the wall. It wasn't as relaxing as I hoped. Lenore would sleep for an hour or two then wake hungry or wet or dirty. The kids were equal parts excited about the new baby and jealous of the attention.

Micah handled the new addition the best. Probably because hes already the oldest and used to sharing with the others. He would offer to help whenever he could. He even helped feed her several times.

It's been nice but I worry that we're expecting too much from him. He's barely seven years old, he should still be allowed to play. And he does, I often have him keep the others occupied with games. 

Emmett looks on curiously. He would touch her head and call her lil Lenny, probably because he heard Daryl introduce her that way. He tried to feed her once but after that he lost interest in trying again. 

He would still hover near her, watch her and sometimes try to sing to her. His singing was too loud to sooth her but he would still try. It helped that she sleeps so much on her own even with all the noise they made.

Sarah didn't take the new addition well. Anytime someone would come by to visit she would go to them, demanding attention. Merle pulled her aside and tried to talk to her about it but she's held stubborn. 

Imogene and Kendall don't seem to notice the baby much. They spend most of their time playing together. I guess because we've always kept them together that they tend to ignore everything around them. 

Abigale and Evelyn seemed undisturbed by Lenore's birth. Maybe because they consider Carol to be their mother. But they show a surprising lack of interest in the new baby.

Carl has been by nearly every day to drop off Judith to play. I guess since I already have so many little ones he figured one more wouldn't hurt. And she's a good baby. 

Most of the time Carl will stay to spend time with Sophia. Sometimes they help with the younger kids and sometimes they run off to play with others their own age. Hollie's son Chase has certainly benefited from their attention.

It's not like they run off just to play. They do chores or take food and drinks out along the border or to the fields. They help feed the animals or help tend to the gardens. Whatever small jobs there are, these three are the first to help.

I think it helps Carl to know Judith is being looked after. Rick is still ignoring her existence most of the time. For all that he claims her as his, he doesn't seem to want her much. Perhaps he's still mourning but he shouldn't be pushing his responsibilities off on his son.

It's not my place to judge and I try not to. I just don't understand the apathy he shows his daughter. I know Hershel has been talking to him, trying to council him, it jusy hasnt helped much yet.

Beth does still watch Judith most days when Carl can't or needs a break. Sometimes she helps with the animals and sometimes she helps with the meals. Hershel still tries to keep her close so she doesn't often go beyond the wall. 

Caleb comes by daily to see her. They sit together for meals and he's taken her around on his bike a few times. Hershel still doesn't approve but he's stopped kicking up a big fuss at least.

We've built a pavilion at the wall's gate that spreads over the road and stretches a bit in either direction. There's tables and chairs and benches tucked here and there for mealtimes. There's even a food truck at one end, a recent find that everyone raved over.

We've started to have lunch and supper as communal meals. The weekly rations have been pulled back to monthly since most eat with the group. It's easier to feed everyone in bulk than letting them scramble individually for meals.

Merle and Daryl even built this wierd clay oven out by the new pavilion. It's something made of straw, sand, and clay from where we dug up the pond. It's wide but not tall with a dome top. Wood or charcoal can be burned in the bottom while food is cooked in the top opening. It's not pretty but it is effective.

The end of the storms have also pushed our people to spread out again. Silas and his crew have left the attic to return to the tents and RVs along the road surrounding the new pavilion. I worry about them in this heat but they assure me it's no bother.

I think he's still bothered by my age. I tried to reassure him that I turned nineteen on August tenth but I don't think that helped any. But at least he's not hostile towards the brothers about it. He accepts that its our decision so that's cooled tempers.

Me and the kids have been staying inside where it's cooler. So we've been spending our days reading, playing games, and acting silly. It's allowed us to bond, to reconnect, but I admit that I miss having adults around.

August ends and September comes without any change in the weather. It's still dry and humid. The sun is blistering and no rain comes. We've had to be more careful with our water usage now as even the pond is drying up.

Thankfully we had placed several plastic and blow up pools between the fence and the border to collect water during the storms. It's worked well to allow us to catch and save water. Then we pull it out by the bucket, boil and filter it, and refill all of our water jugs and containers.

We've also finished enclosing the extension. It took a while but we lucked out at the distribution centers as well as finding another shipping lot on the other side of Atlanta. That was two week long trips with a lot of people on the runs. It was nerve-racking but they all got back safely.

Merle has been talking about taking the runner groups, or maybe a few who want to join, through the extension. There's every possibility that a cursed or several are caught within that area. The teams will sweep it for the next few weeks while we plan to wait to use it until the spring.

That should give us plenty of time to get it cleared and safe. Once it's secured we will put up fencing and later move the cows out there. We would also like to move the horses out along the portion of our territory between the fence and the border where we've been parking cars and setting up the pools. That would give them more room to run.

It's still being discussed, no concrete plans have been made. But everyone is excited about how well we've been doing lately. Our run of good luck has been a blessing that we all acknowledge.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Our morning begins with our normal routine. Daryl wakes first, dressing and leaving after pressing a kiss to me and Lenore. He and Koda have gone back to hunting and hopefully trapping animals.

I get dressed. It's still hot so just shorts and a top is all I can stand. I do put on the cloth wrap to hold Lenore on my chest. She does much better being held and she fits snugly in the wrap.

I've been using the cloth diapers we found at the house we scavenged for her. The diapers are adorable, several with cartoon or movie characters on them. They have all these snaps to make the diaper small enough for her while still being secure. Theres even these disposable inserts, they remind me of dryer sheets actually, that you can line them with to make cleanup easier.

Thank goodness there was instructions on how to fit them among the supplies we found. We'd still be scratching our heads to figure out how the buttons work otherwise. With the instructions it's all really easy. And she's tiny so they still look enormous on her. 

I don't bother with putting much else on her, just the diaper and a baby t shirt. That way she won't get overheated in the wrap. She curles up like a little turtle in there but since she's happiest there I don't complain. 

Once I get her settled it's time to head upstairs to wake the kids. Mine still share a room although Imogene and Kendall now sleep in the bed with Sarah so that Lenore can have the crib in our room. That booted the dogs to the floor but they don't complain.

Micah only needs to be nudged awake and told to dress. Emmett will sometimes dress himself and sometimes he will want me to help. I've tried telling him he's old enough to dress himself but that doesn't always work. 

Sarah will pull on her own clothes so long as I watch her to make sure it's the right side out and not backwards. She still gets her shoes mixed up too but she's getting better. And she's gotten to the point that she wants her hair braided every morning.

In fact, all of their hair is long now. I should probably cut it but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. Instead I spend a half hour every morning pinning their hair back from their faces. Mine is usually just pulled up in a ponytail because that's quickest.

Emmett is the only one to refuse. The first time I tried he gave me such a suspicious look, just like Daryl too, before firmly saying no. He seems to like his hair long and in the way.

He's also been picky about his clothes lately. Like today when I try to put the t shirt on him and he slaps my hands away. His excuse is he doesn't like it. With a sigh I tell him to find one he does like.

Imogene and Kendall are still mostly asleep as I dress them. Neither wants to wake up and both look as grumpy as a disgruntled kitten. It's adorable but I try not to smile too much. I wouldn't want them to think I'm laughing at them.

Emmett comes back with a black button up shirt. He still doesn't put it on. Instead he tells me to take it off. It takes a bit of back and forth for me to understand that he wants the sleves off.

I almost laugh at that. He wants the sleves cut off because Daryl doesnt wear sleves. And this shirt is thicker than most, probably to mimic the leather vests that Daryl and Merle wear. But I still think this will be too hot.

Instead I get black and grey windbreaker. It's thinner than the shirt and if I cut off the sleeves it should work. He looks doubtful but agrees to try. Quick work with the scissors gets something close to good enough.

I have to promise him that I'll look for a vest like Daddy's later. It's the only thing that gets him out of the room. He still frowns unhappily but he's no longer fussing so it's a win.

Carol is already downstairs putting out plates with small pancakes on them. The kids give excited shouts as they clamor up to the table. Each pleased at the berries and syrup topping their breakfast.

We replaced the table we did have for a large, long sturdy wooden thing. It has a bench seat against the wall and four chairs along the other side. The cushions are white with tiny blue flowers and it looks both country and dated. But its also the only way to get all of the kids at the table together.

We eat quickly with the kids. Then it's time for the older ones to go pick eggs. They don their aprons, each with their name embroidered on them by Carol. She cleans up the dishes while I wipe off the youngest ones.

Emmett is still the one to feed the dogs. They've gotten better at not running over him. Now they wait at the doorway to the living room until he calls them over.

It doesn't take him long to fill their bowls. Once he does he pats his leg to call them and they scramble to the bowls. He grins, finding it amusing each time they do it.

It's laundry day so Carol and I gather the baskets of dirty clothes and take them outside. Merle built us a bicycle powered washing machine. It's really a round plastic garbage can with the blades of a fan rigged to a pipe in the center. A series of belts connected through wheels are what creates the movement.

I guess he figured it was better than us using the little foot powered ones. Those we gave to the people in the RVs furthest out. That way they can keep up with their cleaning without coming up here for one of us to do it.

There's a tall shelf nearby with all of our laundry needs. A permanent awning was added to stretch from the roof to the edge of the side chicken coops, some kind of thick plastic tarp like thing they rigged up. That way we have plenty of shade.

The clothes lines are bound back and forth between the side coops from where the awning ends until it hits the back coop. That way we have plenty of places to hang clothes and sheets. Everything ends up smelling a bit like the chicken coops but its not a strong smell so its not that bad.

We load the kids clothes first. Between the lot of them we have more than enough for a full load. A bucket of water and a scoop of detergent is all it needs. Then we lock the lid down and it just needs to be pedaled. 

As this will churn easier I climb the bike to pedal. Carol will take a turn with our clothes and Sophia will help out on the sheets. If Carl comes today he will probably help Sophia on her turn.

The bicycle seat is uncomfortable for me so we have a pillow ducktaped to it. That way I can pedal for a half hour without dissolving into tears. It's a good workout, a steady exercise. And it gives Carol time to strip the beds and do another search for dirty clothes.

Once it's done Carol and I pull the clothes out. Then we load our clothes and she takes her turn. My legs tremble slightly but I'm steady enough that its fine. 

Micah, Sarah, Abigale, and Evelyn are putting the eggs from their aprons into the egg cartons we keep in a bin out here. They even have two of their little kids tables set up so they can sit and sort them. Once they're done they will put the cartons in the fridge for distribution later.

Sophia was keeping Imogene and Kendall occupied so they wouldn't bother the kids separating the eggs. When I move out to the lines she follows to help. She can't reach the lines as they're kept above even mine and Carol's heads so instead she passes me the clothes and pins when I need them.

The kids clothes are put up furthest out, nearest to the back coop. They all fit on one line with a bit of room between each item. Sophia takes the basket back to her mother and the two of them pull out the clothes she washed.

The kids help me carry the egg cartons inside, careful not to drop them. We get them tucked away in the fridge then it's back outside. Sophia is on the bike now but Carl's there too, having come around the back of the house.

I share a glance with Carol to get her approval before telling them, "You two take the kids to the park. Make sure you both have a knife and see if Chase wants to go too."

They both jump up, Carl hesitating long enough to pass Judith over, then they're off. Our kids chasing after them. Sophia slows enough to grab Imogene and Kendall's hands. 

Carol waves me to the basket, silently offering to take the bike again. I put Judith down in the grass near my feet while I hang up our clothes. She can't get into much and I know Carol will be watching her too.

Once laundry is done, we head to the park to gather the kids. Then it's down the road and past the gate to the communal pavilion. Lunch, today, is squirrel and chicken nuggets with mashed potatoes. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After lunch we take the kids back to the house for a nap. It gives us time to rest as well. I'm not ashamed to say I still get tired easily so I lay down too. After I've fed and changed Lenore, of course.

The kids laughing wakes me. Lenore is still out so we didn't sleep more than an hour. But the kids are awake and excited about something so I get up to see.

Daryl is home, bloodstains on his clothes and mud all along his side. But he's smiling as the kids climb over him. Daryl flicks his hair back so he can better see whatever it is Sarah's showing him. Emmett flicks his hair, mimicking Daryl.

I step closer to steal a kiss and ask, "Good hunt?"

Obviously it was but it's nice to hear him answer aloud, "Got us two turkeys and a couple deer. I left the birds with Koda to prep for supper tonight but I'll cut us up some venison steaks for tomorrow. It was like a damn party out there when they saw us coming through."

The last is said amused. I can't help but ask, "Will there be enough deer to go around?"

He grins back, "They was both big an healthy so yeah. We almost was gonna catch em alive but figured we had enough in here for now. I figure anything we get out there aughta be food for a while."

I nod, accepting his decision. We've been cautious about our animals because we know there may not be more out there to replace them once they're eaten. It's why we use squirrel meat as a filler with the beef or as mock chicken nuggets. 

No one's happy about eating squirrels but we've all accepted that if we want meat we will need to be careful. It helps that they're so plentiful both inside and outside of our territory. And the brothers have given bb guns out to the teens and older kids to teach them target practice. They probably miss more than they hit but there are a few with really good aim.

It will be nice to have steaks. And the potatoes are grown enough to harvest from our front yard so we can have steak and potatoes tomorrow. I tell him as much which gets a wicked grin in reply. 

Of course the kids want to help. So I take them out into the front yard to pull up the potatoes. If were going to feed everyone then we will need a lot. We end up taking three of our five rows. They're dirty but the kids help rinse them off in buckets before carrying them inside.

Micah and Emmett run off to help Daryl who's set up at the end of the drive. There's a streetlamp there that he uses to hoist the animals up and a wide metal bucket to catch the blood. I leave them to it, trusting that he'll watch the kids.

Lenore wakes up so I feed and change her, slipping her into the wrap that she likes so much. Then its back to work. Which isn't that difficult with her in the wrap as it leaves my arms free.

Carol helps me dry and sort the potatoes. We'll wait until tomorrow to peal and cut them but for now this is enough. Then we clean up the girls and get them to help us bring in the dry clothes. 

Sophia runs inside, grabs the large cooler we use to transport the eggs, and runs back outside with a shout of, "Daryl needs something to hold the steaks!"

We wave the girls to play in the living room while we fold laundry. Sophia stays outside but it's easy enough to see her from where we are. Carl stays close to her while still helping Daryl. 

"I've already given her the talk but I swear that girl," Carol shakes her head.

I laugh, "What? She's like twelve!"

"Fourteen!" She frowns back, "She is so in love with Carl that I worry she's gonna do something stupid."

"No," I deny, "she's smarter than that. Plus they're both too young for that. In a few years we'll worry but not now."

She hums, watching me suspiciously as she asks, "Are you saying you weren't curious at that age?"

I snort, "Not like that, I wouldn't have kissed a boy at fourteen."

Carol blushes, "I kissed a boy. Let him touch me too. And times are different now."

"Not that different," I argue worriedly. "They won't do nothin, you know that. Once she's fifteen or sixteen we'll worry but now? No, they're fine."

She hums, putting down the pants she was folding and taking up another pair. She doesn't glance over when she says, "Maggie caught Beth and Caleb."

I snort dismissively, "They're both old enough Hershel just doesn't want to admit it."

Carol grins, "I heard the fight was epic. Surprised we didn't hear it all the way in here. Dunno what she's gonna do now."

I shrug, "She and Caleb like each other a lot. They'd be good together too, I'm sure of it. But Hershel is gonna drive her away if he keeps on."

She hums agreeing. Then she shakes her head, watching out the window. I glance up to see Carl smearing bloody handprints on Sophia while they're both laughing.

"Are you going back on border guard?" She asks, dismissing the children's antics for now.

I shrug, "I want to keep Lenore with me so that might not be safe. I'm thinking of taking the kids and joining the harvest groups this fall. Maybe going back to patrol for the winter. You?"

She shrugs, "I want to go on runs again, Merles team only though."

I nod understanding. On a runners team you have to trust the ones with you. It's far too dangerous out there for anything less.

We sort the clothes into piles, loading them in the baskets and heading upstairs. At least it's easy enough to sort the kids clothes. Ours too because I'm smaller than Carol and Daryl is smaller than Merle.

The clothes are put away and we fill the upstairs bathtub with four buckets of water. We'll need to haul in some more soon because we've used up ours today. But the kids will need to be cleaned.

They troop in easily. Lenore wakes up fussy so I leave Carol to wash them as I get her fed and sorted. Then it's off to supper at the pavilion. Once we get back we'll bring in the sheets and blankets but for now they're still damp.

Dinner is the promised turkey, cooked thanksgiving golden and smelling strongly of sage and rosemary. There's green bean casserole, yams, and cornbread muffins to go with it. It's enough to start a mini celebration all on its own.

When I ask how they cooked the turkeys so quickly, Robert points to these two domed machines. Both have a black base and a black top while the dome is clear. They're both some kind of cooker and apparently good ones too. 

He grins and answers, "World may be over but there's still a lot of cool toys to play with. Found them in them houses we've been scavenging. They cook food fast without drying out the meat."

The pavilion is packed and stays that way for the two hours that dinner is served. That way the evening and night shifts for the guard patrols can have a chance at a hot meal. Even when people are finished they don't leave. 

This is the time to relax and talk. This is when we socialize the most. So it's nice to sit and talk with others for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Getting water for the house is no small task. We leave as a family, minus the brothers who are helping with the animals today. We pull two small kids wagons with the empty buckets in them. 

Lenore blinks lazily from the wrap while Imogene sits patiently in a carrier on my back. Carol has Kendall on her back. Micah is pulling one wagon while Sophia pulls the other. 

We're not the only ones heading out this morning. Michonne steps up alongside us with Carl pulling their second wagon. Judith is riding in a carrier on Michonne's back, happily tugging at her dreads even if most are twisted up into something like a bun.

Carl and Sophia start up a conversation right away. Both agreeing to take lunch out to the border for the guards. A question of what's for lunch is answered when we step past the gate.

The pavilion is never empty. Probably because Roberts popup is right next to it or maybe because Silas groups dreads along the road on either side. Either way, there's several people there when we step out.

Robert is sitting on a bench with his back to the table. Kathy, one of the older women from the RV group, sits behind him on the table. She's medium height with dark blue eyes and long brown hair tipped in vibrant blue. Her hair is twisted into dreads with various ribbons and strings decorating them. 

As we get closer we see that shes twisting his hair. She's already half done with his hair. There's a small brick of wax, the size of a bar of soap, on the table next to them that she takes and rubs along the hair before rolling the dreads between her hands.

Carl asks, "What are you doing?" 

Kathy answers, "Dreads are easier to maintain, less tangles and such. He didn't know how to do them so I'm helping."

Robert gives a lazy smile and a wink in reply. Sophia walks closer, eyeing them curiously before she asks, "What's for lunch?" 

Robert points to a chalkboard painted on the side of the food truck. It has a listing for lunch and dinner. Lunch says sandwiches and chips while dinner says steak and potatoes.

Carl tells him, "Me and Sophia will be by to get lunch for the guards today."

Robert nods, accepting the order. Sarah climbs up on the table next to them and asks, "Can you do my hair too?"

Robert grins, "Ask ya momma."

"Why do ya want dreads?" I ask curiously.

She shrugs, looking thoughtful as she answers, "It's like braids that don't come out, right? I like braids."

I hum, buying time before I offer, "We'll see, let me talk to daddy first, okay?"

She nods seriously. Then she hurries to rejoin us as we walk down the road away from the border gate. There's a side road that crosses the fence and hits the border before splitting. 

The fence is easy to pass as there are several doors through at various sections. This road has a set of double doors that open wide if we need them to. From there its an equal distance to the border road which we follow back towards the border gate until we reach the pools. 

The pond is here first, stretching more wide than deep in the earth between the fence and the border road. It's very low now and the water is probably hot too. The kids groan in disappointment at that.

Not far beyond the pond is where the pools lay. There are probably fifty of them out here. We have more locked away in a shipping container with other odds and ends. 

Normally our water should come from the filtration drums we have set up on the road to the far wall gate. But this hot weather, the lack of rain, has us pulling water from our backup system of pools. It's not a bad thing, just a bit more work this way.

Other people are here too, moving between the pools with their own buckets. Some look frustrated, a few eye the empty pools worriedly. The pools nearest are empty and the wagons won't go on the grass so well have to carry from here.

"We're running low," Carl says worriedly.

"We just need to be careful with what we have," Michonne replies.

We each take a bucket or two. Sophia helps carry two of Carl's so I tell Micah to help Michonne. That way we can get it all in one trip.

As we move through them I feel worry twist my gut. More than a third are completely empty. Half of the ones with water are almost gone and the others are less than half full. If we don't get rain soon we may be in trouble.

We still fill our buckets, frowning all the more as the water levels drop. A glance at Carol shows a shared worry. We'll need to bring this up with the council now rather than wait longer. We're going to need more water and soon.

The buckets are heavy and the walk back is a long one, at least we have the wagons. It's probably something like two miles either way. The furthest point of the border, before the expansion, was four miles from the wall gate. Now it's something like seven miles with the odd shape.

We pass a few more people pulling their wagons. Yeah, we need more water as soon as we can get it. But the trick will be figuring out where to go. And how do we transport it.

Beth is with Caleb and a few other older teens in the pavilion so I ask them if they'll mind the kids for a few minutes. They agree to drag the wagons to our house before taking the kids to the park. Both Imogene and Kendall fuss to get down so we release them too.

Michonne follows us into hill house, leaving their wagons with Carl. Barry and Miranda are there with Barry's older daughter Emily. They have the inventory books out, making notes and updates. They look serious but not overly concerned.

"Waters an issue," Michonne offers by way of greeting. 

All three blink startled before Barry pulls off his glasses to ask, "How bad?"

"We may not last more than a couple days," I answer uncertainly.

He frowns, "I knew we were getting low but I didn't think it was that bad."

"It is," Michone replies.

He sighs, asking, "Any ideas?"

I shrug, "It's a pity the old water towers don't work or we could use them. We should definitely work on digging wells though because what we have now isn't working."

They blink startled back at me. Barry stands up quickly, "That could work.".

He gathers up a map, spreading it over the table. Distractedly he asks, "Anyone know where water towers are?"

I point to the one nearest us, at the back of the old neighborhood. Miranda points to two further out that she remembers. Michonne and Carol both shake their heads. I suppose neither of them ever looked.

"How will we transport it?" I ask.

Barry hums thoughtfully, "We can't use the empty tanker, can we?"

"No, it wouldn't be safe," Carol answers.

"What about garbage cans?" Emily asks.

Miranda scoffs but Emily is quick to defend, "Not used ones! I mean the new clean ones that still smell like plastic. We could use them to transport the water."

"Aren't they too small?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No, the really big ones like the companies use. They sell them from Wal-Mart and places like that. We have two dozen in inventory from the distribution centers runs."

There's a game of hot potato glances. Everyone sending questioning looks while no one wants to yay or nay it. So with a deep breath I make the call. We need water regardless and we'll boil and filter it once it's here. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Michonne agreed to lead the run with her team. But they needed someone who would know how to access the water. The call was sent out over the radios for anyone with experience. 

Koda father, Elmo, was the one to agree. He admitted to having to fix the one on their reservation back home so he has an idea of what to do. Koda volenteers to go along with them as a guard.

Others volenteer, Michonne chose six to take along with her usual team of five. They pulled the large clean garbage cans from storage and loaded them in the back of three trucks. Then they left, in a hurry to get back before supper even if they're not going far.

They chose the one in the old neighborhood near us. It's easy enough to get to and it should be close enough to be safe. Carol and I go to the park to relieve Beth and Caleb of the kids. Then it's just a waiting game.

At lunch time, which is announced over the radio, we lead the kids down to the pavilion. It's still crowded as we do have a large population. In fact, Barry and Emily did a census and said there are one hundred and eighty of us. Which is awesome for the end of the world but worrying as well.

Sandwiches contain fresh tomatoes and lettuce with chunks of leftover turkey and chicken. The meat was minced and mixed together with a touch of mayo and mustard. Then it was spread over the bread in a mockery of tuna salad.

The chips offered are the small individual bags that are always plentiful at big stores. The kids argue over which one they want but a snap of the fingers from Silas nearby gets them to quiet down. Sophia leaves with Carl to take two wagons full of lunches out to the border guards.

After lunch we take the kids over to the schoolhouse. We drop off all but the three youngest. The kids only go to lessons two days, then they have two off, then two back. The pattern repeats so that the kids can help with chores. It also helps to not overwhelm the teachers.

Today and tomorrow are lessons. Carl and Sophia head into the dining room. It's been turned into a classroom for the older kids where Mrs. Rose can teach them. The living room is decorated for the younger kids that mr. Thomas teaches. And the downstairs bedroom has been turned into our residential library.

Mrs. Rose is nearing seventy with a stooped back and a mass of soft white hair. She's always wrapped in shawls and sweaters with several necklaces dangling down to her waist. She's still somewhat active, she just can't do too much outside work. So even when she's not teaching she will stay indoors and watch the kids for some of the parents.

Mr. Thomas is not yet forty with a tall thin body and a narrow oval face. His short red hair is a mass of curls and his brown eyes hide behind thin wire glasses. He will sometimes teach the older kids but he tends to work the most with the younger ones in the living room. When not teaching he tends to the farm as needed.

There are two assistants that switch back and forth between the classrooms. Ginger, Justin's wife, comes with their three kids. She tends to help with the older kids since that's where hers are.

She and all three of her kids have the same pale auburn hair and light green eyes. Justin has pale blond hair that he keeps buzzed short and light blue eyes. All of them have tall almost willowy figures except Justin who is slightly muscled.

Thomas welcomes the kids in, calling them to seat themselves on the circle carpet. He tells them that they'll be going over a few words and some spelling later but first they'll have a story. Micah joins them for the story but when the lesson starts he will have his own workbooks and a different lesson since he's older.

I spare a glance in the dining room where Rose sits at the table, waving the older kids to take their place. Besides Sophia and Carl, there is Chase, Lyric, and Gingers three kids. We're missing four more but they probably just haven't gotten here yet.

I wave to them as Carol and I leave with the three youngest. We won't have to pick them up again until dinnertime so we head home. Usually we would either do laundry or have a council meeting scheduled but as both are already done we'll check the coops.

Cleaning the coops isn't fun but it's necessary work. So we put the three youngest in the playpen so we can watch them. The chickens are used to this by now so they don't fuss much as we move through. 

Carol comments, "The coops are getting a bit full, aren't they?"

I agree, "We'll need to cull them down some. Or we could seperate them out."

"Seperate them where?" She asks.

"You know how we've enclosed about ten houses in the expansion?" I wait for her to nod before continuing, "We should build a few pens there for some of the animals. That way we can breed them up without risking the whole group."

She looks around thoughtful asking, "How do you want to split them?"

Good question. I tell her I'll think on it some more. I'll probably have to ask Hershels advice because I want to split all of the herds. That way we can build them all up. We may not be able to but it would be nice if we could.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Michonne's team returns successful from their run. Each of the large trash cans are filled to the brim with water. They're too heavy to move easily so I tell them to drive two trucks to the side gate of the wall and dump the water into our barrels out there. 

The barrels are tall and wide with a filtration pump set up on them. We have five of them that we've been using for our drinking water. They dried up the first month and we had to go to our backups of the pools. Now we can get maybe three of them full which should hold us for a while. The other truck heads out to the fields.

Supper tonight is a celebration of sorts. The steaks and potatoes are small, maybe 4 or 6oz, but they're all cooked beautifully and tender. There's sodas, corn on the cob, and rolls passed back and forth at each table. It's loud and messy but there's laughter and loud conversations abound.

Robert, Kathy, and Katelyn move along the tables, passing out the steaks to be sure everyone gets one. They tend to be the ones cooking and dishing out meals. Steam still billows out of the three grills lined up on the opposite end from the food truck.

Katelyn is Kathy's niece. Like her aunt, she is medium height with long brown hair and dark navy blue eyes. She's only sixteen so she tends to spend time with Beth and Kiara when they're free. But she doesn't like to watch the kids, says shes too nervous, so she spends more time among the adults.

Seeing them, all three with their hair twisted in dreads, reminds me of Sarah's earlier request. I turn to Daryl who's smiling brightly even as he ducks his head to hide. He's laughing with Koda about how they both got covered in mud bringing back the deer. It has the rest of the table in stitches as well.

I tap his shoulder to get his attention. His blue eyes switch over to mine, fully focused even as I know he still has an ear on the story Koda's telling. I reach up to brush his hair back, exposing his ear but mostly just to touch him.

"Sarah wants to get dreads in her hair," I tell him amused.

He glances back at Robert, snorting amused. He asks, "She saw them or somethin?"

I nod, explaining, "She thinks they're permanent braids so that's why she wants them."

He frowns thoughtful, still not dismissing her request. I admit I half expected him to say no. He ends up shrugging, "Have her get one to try for a day or two. If she likes it then they can do the rest."

Sarah squeals from her seat three down from me, "Thanks, Daddy!"

I shake my head, unsure how she heard us over all this noise but somehow she did. She starts to get down but I tell her, "Not now, after dinner we'll ask if they're willing."

She pouts but agrees. Lenore starts to fuss in the stroller so I pull her into my lap. I usually wear her in the wrap but she was already asleep when we came this way and the stroller lays down. 

Daryl pulls her from me with a proud smile. He stands her up, careful to support her well, and tells her his own version of their hunting adventure. It still makes people laugh but it's less exaggerated than Koda's version.

Emmett sits on Daryl' s other side and asks repeatedly to hold 'Lenny'. I sigh, resigning myself to being the only one to call her Lenore. Daryl shoots me an amused smirk that shows he caught the sigh and understood it. I laugh, pointedly taking a bite of the steak and looking over the other kids.

Micah is next to me with Imogene and Kendall stuffed between him and Sarah. Then it's Judith, Carl, Sophia, Evelyn, Abigale, and Carol. Merle sits on Carols other side at the end of the table. The other side is Koda and several runners including Nick as well as some of Silas's people.

Caleb is at the next table over with Beth on one side and a disgruntled Maggie on the other. Hershel sits on Beth's other side but she pays him and her sister little attention. I should probably talk to them about that because if they keep behaving unfriendly to him she will start sitting at another table.

Katelyn sits down across from Beth while Kiara sits beside her. Andrew and Dalton sit across Caleb, both teens came with Bob and are fast friends with everyone. The group of them get lost in a conversation about actors by the sound of it. At least they're having a good time.

Daryl shifts Lenore into Emmett s lap, warning him to hold her carefully. Emmett replies, "I have her, I be careful, I understand."

Emmett is three now but he's also about as quiet as Daryl so while he can talk he also doesn't like to. Daryl does smile at the little leather vest he's wearing. A questioning glance thrown at me prompts a smile and a shrug. 

"He wanted it," I explain amused. "He wouldn't wear anything else."

"Where'd ya find it?" He asks.

I nod to Bri and Eric who are at the far table with some of the louder, roudier of the group. "They had some leather and sewed it up some. Not sure what it was origionally but he loves it. He wants wings for the back like you and Merle though."

Daryl grins, looking down proudly as Emmett focusses on holding Lenore safely. She blinks around wide eyed, probably because of all the noise, but doesnt seem really scared. Emmett pets her head, talking softly to her even if she doesn't pay him much attention. 

He nods, "I'll look for somethin next time I'm out. The others want anything?"

I shake my head, "Besides some hair ties, the dreads Sarah wants, and the vest for Emmett, the others are good."

He nods back, still smiling proudly. There's an almost disbieliving look in his eyes as he gazes around. Like he wonders if this is all a dream. I squeeze his hand, letting him know I'm here. He shoots me a smile back.

Dinner last two hours but even then people drag their feet to leave. Sarah gets restless quickly so I wave Kathy over once it looks like she's finished eating. She sauters over with a friendly smile.

Sarah twists in her seat, standing up and reaching. Kathy laughs, picking her up with a bounce up before holding her close. Sarah squeals excitedly, clinging tightly to Kathy's shirt.

"We were wondering if you could do one dread for Sarah so she can see if she likes it?" I ask.

It only takes maybe five minutes. She picks a section of hair behind Sarah's ear and twists it. Then she pulls it apart, all the way to the roots, then twists it again. This is repeated until she reaches the end when she rolls the hair between her hands. 

She says she'll wait to put wax on it until we know if Sarah will keep it. Sarah tugs at it a bit then asks if she can have ribbon and beads like Kathy has. With a laugh she answers, "If you decide to keep them in then I'll help you decorate them, sound fair?"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Kathy and Katelyn come over after breakfast. Kathy carries a beaded bag with a long strap that she says has her supplies. Katelyn it seems only came along to keep her aunt company.

The kids have already eaten and retrieved their eggs from the coop. Now it's time to seperate them into cartons for distribution today. Once that's done we will take them around this morning. Then the kids will have lessons this afternoon.

Sarah has decided that she wants more dreads in her hair which she proudly tells Kathy. They sit on the floor with Sarah between them and both work at sectioning her hair. In ten minutes she already has three more.

They rub a soft wax over the hair before rolling it between their hands. Kathy explains, "This warms the wax, helps it bind in. She still has a few days to wash it out but if she keeps it then we'll just need to recheck from time to time."

It's fascinating to watch. Sarah relaxes as they play with her hair, something she loves. And while they're making the dreads, Sarah gets to pick out a few ribbons and beads to go in. She picks a thin lace like ribbon and several red and pink beads.

I must admit that now I'm curious. So I ask, "Would it be possible to only do a portion?"

"Sure," Katelyn answers, "That's the easy part."

I hesitate because it does seem like a big change but it also looks nice. So I ask, "Could you do a few in my hair?"

"How do you want it done?" Kathy asks, still focused on their work in Sarah's hair.

I shrug, "The back maybe? Or the bottom half? What do you think?"

She looks over then, smiling as she eyes my hair, "I can do something."

I should probably be more worried but I decide to try anyways just to see. After all, she's already said it can be washed out within a day or two. And Sarah may like the support.

It doesn't take them long to finish Sarah's hair. Then it's my turn to sit between them. They section my hair, pinning some up on top of my head, and starting behind each ear.

It's an odd feeling. It doesn't hurt, doesn't pull my hair. It's similar to when someone braids my hair but different also. And its quick, surprisingly quick with how long my hair is.

It only takes a half our for them to finish. Then the undo the hair twisted on top of my head and shake it loose. The dreads aren't heavy or tight. It would even be easy to forget they're there. 

I slip into the bathroom to get a look. They're kinda cute! Not me, really, but cute all the same. I'll leave them two days just to see but I'll probably wash them out.

We both thank them, passing them the egg cooler for the food truck. They both compliment us on how beautiful our hair is now while also assuring us that we can wash them out if we want. Then we load up the wagons with a large cooler each and head out.

Lenore is in her wrap while Imogene and Kendall are in the stroller. Micah and Sophia are pulling the wagons, Carol has gone off to help Merle with something. Emmett, Sarah, and Abigale are carrying the egg cartons up to the different houses for delivery.

Sarah insist on showing her new hairstyle to everyone. She gets some surprised exclamations but a lot of compliments. She especially enjoys telling everyone how Kathy and Katelyn fixed her hair.

Each house gets a carton of eggs. The food truck gets six cartons since they're feeding more people. Although if we're ever short on eggs that'll get cut back.

It's too far to walk the entire way so once we reach the RVs and tents outside the wall, we load up in one of the trucks. The RVs here don't get eggs but every other week. I don't usually drive but it's easy to get Austin to agree.

Austin is in his late twenties with short cut dark hair and more tattoos than bare skin. He also has several piercings, the lobes of his ears elongated with a wide open gauge. And while he often looks unfriendly hes still polite.

He drives us down the road and around the field to the RVs that line the border. Then we get out to walk again. Sarah runs ahead, having spotted Ginger's two girls who she insists on showing her new hairstyle to.

Emmett and Abigale run the cartons, one to each RV. That takes up the rest of them quickly. There are a few RVs along neighbors drive that closer to the border gate that will get theirs next week with Silas's group.

We end up taking several people back with us as it's now lunch time. Potato or minestrone soup are the choices with a few crackers. Then I walk the kids to the schoolhouse and leave them to it.

I take the girls to the park, letting Imogene and Kendall play on the climbing structure while Lenore swings. We only stay for a half hour. By that point they're tired enough to go right to sleep for their nap.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THAT BED, BOY!"

I jump awake. The voice cane from upstairs. I barely have a second to wonder who Merle is screaming at before Daryl barrels out of the room. I scramble to follow.

The only boys in the house are Micah and Emmett. Please don't let him be yelling at them. Hell, maybe he's having an episode and screaming at nothing.

Daryl is already up the stairs by the time I reach the bottom. Several voices are shouting on the landing. Light floods out of Carol's girls' room.

Merle is struggling with someone. Daryl trying to get between them. It's only as I reach the top step that I recognize Carl standing in only a pair of pants.

Carol is in the girls room, her hand gripping Sophia's arm tight enough to bruise. She's hissing angrily at her daughter who is staring stubbornly back. Abigale and Evelyn are both awake and watching this whole mess with wide blue eyes.

"Quiet down, everyone," I order them all.

Carl turns with a red face, head ducked in embarrassment to face me. I can almost hear Carol saying 'I told you so. Of course it's hard to hear anything with Merle shouting threats as he is.

I grab Carl's arm, pulling him with me downstairs. I call back over my shoulder, "Merle, if you don't calm down then step outside. You're scaring our kids."

That worked to quiet him some but he's still growling threats and pacing like an angry grizzly. I push Carl to sit on the couch, Merle and Daryl both watching him angrily. Carol's voice barely noticeable as she lectures Sophia about this mess.

I grab up the radio, already anticipating a migraine as I call, "Someone get Rick for me, please."

He answers, "I'm on Border tonight, what do you need?"

Merle starts shouting about beating Rick's ass for not raising his boy right. I rub my forehead, hoping he can hear me over the argument from the brothers. I ask, "Come to our house, now would be prefered."

"Merle being an ass?" He asks amused.

If anything, that makes Merle curse louder. Daryl has stalked closer to Carl and is whispering low angry words. He looks like a damn panther about to pounce on an injured bird.

"Your son was in our house, come here now and get him," I snap back.

"Just send him home," he says dismissively.

I was trying not to air this drama to the whole community. Merle took that out of my hands, literally. He snatched the radio, snarling into it, "Listen here, asshole!, your boy was in Sophia's bed. Now come get him for I beat his ass bloody!"

Carl is still sitting curled up on the couch. His hands clasped together in his lap and his head bowed. He's the picture of chastised guilt.

Daryl is still glaring down angrily. Merle slams the radio down and has started stalking back and forth again. Yeah, this won't end well.

Five minutes pass in tense silence before a knock sounds. Merle wretches the door open but it's not Rick. He steps back angrily as Silas and Jonsie slip in.

Both men look around the room cautiously. Then with a shared look they split up. Jonsie goes to Carl, eyeing Daryl until he steps back with a frown. Silas walks over to me.

His brows furrow in concern as he asks, "What happened here?"

I shrug, "Woke up when Merle shouted. He found Carl in Sophia's bed with her."

"Damn pervert aught ta be beat!" Merle snaps out.

I shrug helplessly, "Don't know what they did or didn't do because no one's been calm enough for a talk."

He nod, asking, "Where's Sophia?"

I point upstairs so he heads up. A voice calls 'Momma' so I slip upstairs to check on the other kids. A glance in the girls room shows Sophia still standing stubborn against her mother. 

The dogs are scratching at the door and the kids all sitting up in bed. I stop the dogs from getting out, that'll just make it worse. Then I pick up Sarah and crawl onto the boys bed.

They ask what happened so I try to explain. Both frown confused, not understanding the problem. That part I'm not ready to explain to them. They're much too young for that.

I don't bother trying to get them to sleep because it won't work. Instead I offer to read them a story to keep them occupied. They each pick out a book, rushing back. We all try to ignore the various shouts and threats from downstairs.

Another knock sounds and the argument gets louder. I guess Rick got here after all. Pounding footsteps rush down the stairs, must be Silas. I guess he's going to stop the fight that I can hear down there.

The door opens, Carol pushing Abigale and Evelyn inside with a frown. Then she pulls the door closed again. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

October finally brings relief in the form of several days of rain. It's enough to fill the pools and the pond back to a decent depth. The large backwards umbrella things rigged to the filtration tanks also seem to have worked well to catch the water.

It's time for harvest now so I volenteer me and the kids to help. Most of the adults from the farm are going out every day this week to hit the fields and farms outside of our borders. Me and the kids will join those remaining behind to harvest our two large crops.

Two greyhound buses as well as three trucks leave the gate to begin the harvest. Each person has a pillowcase and a large laundry basket for them to fill up. Today is, I believe, the day they will hit the wheat fields. The trucks and the gunners in them will be there to keep them safe while they work.

Me and the kids pile into the wagon that will move the produce from our internal crops. We have the three wagons and we try to use them for any runs within the immediate area or even within the border. It helps us cut down on gas usage that way.

The wagon is long, attached to two large brown horses with a riding seat up high where Hershel sits. Daryl helps me load up the kids. We share a quick kiss before he races off to the border for his shift at the gate.

The wagon ride is uncomfortable, hard and bumpy even on the smooth road. But it's better than walking so I don't complain. At least we know we're safe in here. 

Carol has gone on the harvest run with outgoing team. While it's been confirmed that they didnt do anything beyond sleeping side by side, she is still worried. So Sophia and Carl are both grounded with Sophia having to shadow me or her mother. Today she chose me to follow.

We'll start at the corn field today. There are already several people moving down the rows with sacks on their shoulders. We climb down and I pair up the kids to work. 

Emmett will work with Micah on one row. Sophia will work with Evelyn on the next. Then I'll take a row and Sarah and Abigale will work the next one down. That way I can keep an eye on them all.

To pull the corn you must grab the ear and twist it away from the stalk. It's not difficult once you get the hang of it. It is time consuming though.

Sarah whines that its not working so I split her and Abigale to join me and Sophia. That way they can hold the bags for us to fill while we pull the corn down. It probably wasn't that hard but it's better to avoid meltdowns out here.

The first bag fills up before were halfway down the aisle. So I send Sarah to run the full bag to the wagon and bring back an empty one. She gets distracted showing her hair off to Gingers youngest girl, again. But when I shout for her to hurry she does.

We work until lunchtime. Conversations come and go, nothing important just passing the time. A few more people join us, taking other aisles. When we fill our bags, one of the kids will run to the wagon and exchange it for another.

We stop for lunch. Folding tables and chairs have been set up for the farmers use. Katelyn brings a soup made of pasta shells, diced tomatoes, and shredded zucchini all boiled soft. There's plenty of spices, mostly sage and rosemary, to give it more flavor.

The kids are tired now that they've eaten. Hershel offers, "I can take them home, leave them with Rose if you want."

The kids agree so I do as well. Plus he has to off load the corn we've already pulled. I pass all but Lenora into the wagon. She's still sleeping well in the wrap on my chest.

Sophia stays behind with me. So we head out to tackle the rows together. Others move to follow, picking an aisle to harvest and getting to work.

I wait until we're halfway down the row before asking, "So, what was the whole thing with Carl about?"

"You heard mom," she answers bitterly.

"I'm asking you," I reply gently.

She doesn't answer at first. Perhaps Carol was right on what happened. But somehow I doubt it was anything but innocent.

We're nearing the end of the row when she answers with a sigh, "He was pissed at his dad for not taking care of Judith and he didn't want to watch her. I told him if he ever needed to hide he could stay with us."

"Why didn't y'all tell us?" I ask.

She frowns back in reply. Yeah, I guess we didn't give them a chance. I nod, accepting her reasoning. It's not her fault we overreacted.

"Moms convinced that I'm gonna be messed up like her," she mutters bitterly.

"Your momma loves ya and worries for ya," I tell her gently.

"Then why'd she stay with Ed so long?" She snaps back.

That I don't have an answer for. We finish working in silence. Even working all day and with several others we don't get the field finished. So we'll come back tomorrow to finish.

Hershel gives us a ride back in the wagon full of corn. It leaves us on the very end with our legs dangling off but at least we don't have to walk back. Once we get back to the gate we head inside. 

We make a quick stop to pick up the kids from Rose. It's nearly dinner time and the other harvest group is back so we head down to the pavilion. Daryls there already, along with most of the other harvest team and day guards. 

I slump into the chair, relieved to be done for the day. Daryl smiles, pressing a kiss to my forehead and pulling Lenny from her wrap. She's wet so he takes a minute to change her. It gives me a moment to just rest which is exactly what I needed.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I tried to talk with Carol about the whole Carl and Sophia situation but she wouldn't listen. Not that I really expected any different. But it would be nice if she wasn't so stubborn about it all. She's so set to believe that they're doing what they shouldn't that she won't consider that she's wrong. 

Her and Sophia have been at odds since that night. I can tell its hurting them both but neither is willing to give in. It really doesn't help that Carol and Merle have taken to badmouthing Carl.

Our council meeting didn't help matters either. For all that we hoped cooler heads would prevail, no one was willing to get involved. So there's been a heavy tension in our house ever since.

Today is another council day. A day of updates and schedules. A day to assign shift rotations and plan runs. We discussed our water, our crops, and the outgoing harvest teams. A full month of daily work has bulked up our stores like crazy. 

We'll be spending the next month canning what we're able to and eating what we can't. Beth has already volenteered to lead the canning groups for us. It's a comfort to know food won't be an issue this winter even though it is a lot of work.

"We need wells," I offer up as we have round table. 

Round table is what we call when we open the council to any suggestions or issues. It's actually ooen for thise not on the council as well to bring up concerns but they usually catch us at one point or another to pass on issues. Water, however, is definitely an issue. With how dangerous it could get if we actually run out of water, we need more ways to access it.

"I'll grab Hershel," Merle offers. "He had wells on his property so he may know how to set up some more."

"Ask how difficult it would be to build a water tower, maybe we can build a few around the whole compound," I suggest. "Especially over the animal pens and the crop fields. If we can't go down we should build up."

He nods, scribbling away on the yellow legal pad in front of him. We all keep a notebook of some kind for these meetings. It's the only way we can stay organized with all that goes on around here.

"We should also consider building greenhouses for the winter," I add, more as an afterthought. 

Truly it just occured to me and I feel foolish for not suggesting it before. With how many people we have, it would be better if we had a steady influx of fresh foods and a greenhouse would work wonderfully. If we build several small greenhouses that would work better than one huge one.

"Where would we build it?" Adrian asks.

"What about small ones in the yards within the wall?" I ask, "Maybe a larger one or two built in the extension?"

Daryl and Merle are both nodding along. Everyone seems in agreement even if no one speaks up to tackle the project. That's one thing that slows us at times, someone has to take on the head of any project we come up with. It doesn't even have to be someone on the council but it usually is.

With a huff I offer, "I can make some plans, gather a team to build it since harvest is done."

"That'll be your project, you just let us know what you need," Silas states before asking, "Anyone else?"

"There's another issue," Barry offers quietly.

He doesn't look up, refusing to meet anyone's eye. His hands fiddle with the books, shuffle papers and move pens around while he struggles with whatever it is he wants to say. His shoulders slump, his posture tired, weary even.

"It may be a problem," he rubs his forehead, speaking without looking up, "Five women are pregnant."

"Hows that a problem?" Merle asks.

Barry sighs, his gaze locked onto the book in front of him as he softly answers, "The same guy got them all pregnant."

"How's that a problem?" Daryl asks incredulous.

Barry huffs, looking anywhere but at us as he answers, "Because my daughter Emily is one, and it was Rick."

What? Really? Confused glances bounce around the table. No one wanting to ask but he seems to hear the question regardless. 

Barry explains, "She thought they were dating these past few months. To my understanding they each thought the same. He's also been with two of the women that are on the run teams while the other two are guards. That's just the ones I know of."

Merle snorts, "Ranger Rick is sowing all his wild oats in the same damn pasture, ain't he?"

Barry glares back at that, "He led them on, to the point they were expecting something permanent to come of it."

Merle huffs a laugh, "Don't see how it's a council issue."

"It's a peacekeeping issue," Silas sighs loudly. "What are their names?"

Barry answers softly, as if afraid his voice will carry, "Megan, Donna, April, Heather, and my Emily."

Silas shakes his head, "I'll talk to them, see what we need to do to sooth tempers."

"How'd you find out?" Carol asks.

Barry sighs sadly, "My younger daughter, Ashley, has been training with Lisa. They've each gone to get tested in the last two weeks and all are positive. Lisa's keeping up with who is with who for health purposes and they each named Rick the father."

Merle raises his eyebrows, whistling impressed. Carol frowns at him, not liking how flipantly he's taking the news. It's hardly appropriate to be impressed by this.

It will cause drama but nothing too severe. Silas has already taken responsibility for handling it, especially since he's peacekeeper. Which is a role he does very well. For all that he scoffs at law enforcement he does well to enforce our laws. 

The table is again open for discussion. Michonne offers to take a few teams into the expansion to begin clearing it. Which is needed more than outgoing runs. So we decide that the runner teams will go out every third day, rotating so two teams go each day, to clear sections of the expansion.

Another idea hits me, "We need to send out a run for bicycles."

That gets some confused looks so I explain, "With how many people we have and how much area is ours, it would be better to use bicycles within Pheonix Nest. We can rig them with baskets or have them pull wagons. It will make getting around within the border easier."

"Might make local runs easier too," Adrian offers.

We all agree to send out two teams. The warehouses we've already hit had bikes in them. We just didn't bother to get them at the time. Although we did get a few that we used for the modified laundry washers. Now we will send out for them and anything else that looks promising.

Nick asks for a list so Carol writes one up. I know she included helmets as well as wagons and baskets. Merle suggested pipes and tools so if we need to we can build the attachments we need. She also put down any and all baby items. Something she says we'll need at soon.

The list is passed over to Adrian who agrees to lead the run. Then the meeting is called to close. We each have our tasks to work on and we'll offer updates as we have them.

The kids are at lessons today and tomorrow morning and afternoon. Beth and Kiara have the girls for us; Imogene, Kendall, Lenore, and Judith. So we have a few hours to ourselves for now.

Daryl tugs my hand, pulling me quickly home. It's rare that we get so much time to ourselves. And for all that Merle and Carol are laughing, they're also planning the same. It's not even embarrassing anymore, although I suppose that's a product of the times. You can't exactly be shy anymore.

Time slips past. Hours gone while we're together. We even rest, napping lightly until the call for dinner comes. That's when we're due back to pick up the kids.

I take my notebook with me. Various ideas swirling around my head on how we can create greenhouses. Perhaps we can use windows from the neighborhood we scavenge. Or maybe glass doors would work better.

Sarah proudly spells her words for us; town, corn, house, and wall. Abigale is spelling the words to Carol as well. Emmett walks at Daryls side, chest puffed out. He's just so proud that they now have the same vest.

Micah stays quiet, pressing close to my side. He isnt usually quiet like this. I stroke his hair, asking if anything is wrong. He shrugs but doesnt answer.

Supper is hamburgers, served with boiled potatoes and carrots. Yesterday, Daryl and Hershel killed one of the cows and with Maggie's help they got it processed. It was mostly so we could eat something good but also to thin the herd. They plan to cull four more before winter hits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know I've been slow with updates so I'm sorry. I've just got a lot going on right now. But I'm still working on this even if I'm slow at posting. Hope y'all enjoy and thanks for sticking with me 😊


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The stench of the fertilizer is shockingly thick. The bandana over my mouth and nose does little to block out the smells. But it can't be helped. I ignore it the best I can as I continue to shovel the fertilizer into the plant beds.

The greenhouses were actually easy to set up once we started planning. We used simple two by fours to frame up a box shape that takes up the entire front yard. Thick clear plastic is draped over the frame, stapled into place. The doorways are currently open both towards the house and the street as we don't yet have doors. Then there is a narrow walkway between the two long plant beds for us to walk through. 

Merle is helping me shovel the fertilizer into the plant beds. I supose that's one good thing about him and Daryl, neither shy away from hard work. And both are good at fixing and building what we need. Honestly, we wouldn't manage half so well without these two.

Daryl and several others are framing up greenhouses in the other front yards. We will still need doors but we have plenty of plastic to wall them in. And with all the animals, we have plenty of fertilizer for the greenhouses as well as what we put out in the fields.

Tomorrow we will plant three types of potatoes in our greenhouse. We found some small wild potatoes, purple, white, and yellow, that we hope will grow well. We will also plant several types of tomatoes in the hill house garden. 

Then there will be watermelons and cantaloupe in the school house yard. The lettuce, spinach, and cabbages will be planted in front of Rick's house while the beans will be planted in front of Glenn's. The others will have a mix of peppers, squash, turnips, zucchini, and various beans.

We've discussed culling the herds. Besides the cows, we will also cull five goats, one of the boars, ten ducks which we've so far left untouched, and ten chickens. Those all will be processed and preserved frozen or as jerky so we'll have meat this winter. 

When I mentioned how full the coops are, after discussing it with Hershel, we agreed to split the flock. Having so many together is just asking for trouble. And its getting difficult for us to manage them all even if the kids like having the responsibility.

One coop is being built neat the RVs by the border gate. They will get ten hens and a rooster to hopefully breed up. Then we'll build another by the RVs at the border extension which will get about twenty ducks to watch. It will also give our coops encouragement to breed up this spring.

We will still be providing eggs for the majority of the compound. Separating them is mostly so if any of them get sick It won't wipe them all out. It leaves us with three roosters and twenty hens for breeding and another twenty five for eggs as well as over thirty ducks.

The goats will also be split. Two males and three females will be taken out to a pen by the fields. Again, it's mostly so if any get sick we won't lose them all. Hershel says it should also encourage them to breed up their numbers.

The cows and horses will be split once the expansion is clear. Hershel wants to move out there with Beth to watch over the second herds. She's agreed to go but that may have more to do with Caleb laying claim to one of the train compartments.

The train that's enclosed, pushed in as we built up the border to include it, is a series of shipping carts. Most are empty, a few carrying some boxes or gravel that we plan to use later. But the empty cars can easily be turned into living spaces for those who want them, which include several of Silas's people.

We've also discussed the ten houses that we've taken in. Justin and Ginger will get one since the RV really isnt big enough for them. The others will be communal living similar to the houses within the wall. We're hoping to get everyone out of the tents and into solid housing by the end of spring.

The teams that went out for the bikes came back with more people. Only two though, a man named Tyreese and his sister Sasha. At least there are still other survivors out there. And they're both good people so we're happy to have them.

Daryl and Koda also came back with five more pigs. They found them fenced in a backyard with a small garden that they already ate through. The owner was no more than a red smear on the porch and the half dozen cursed trying to get through the fence was what drew their eye.

It's a good thing it did because the pigs are all healthy, two hundred pounds a piece. And two of the females are pregnant and should give birth about April. Hershel says that with them and three of ours currently pregnant, it may double our current numbers. Depending on how many they have, of course. But we're hopeful.

We also have three pregnant cows and four pregnant goats which is a big plus. We still hope to breed more but this is already better than last year. And Hershel thinks with us splitting the herds, the numbers will rise higher. Then we can start separating thise we'll breed from thise we'll eat.

The turkeys and deer still haven't bred yet which is disappointing. Hershel promises to look again but it may just take time. Maybe we should let them loose somewhere with trees, fenced in, to give the illusion of being wild. I'll ask Hershel later what he thinks.

Merle pulls his bandana down, glancing around again to be sure we're finished. He waves me over, taking the shovel and rake that I pass him. Then he heads out to push the wheelbarrel down to the next greenhouse.

I don't follow him because hes just going to pass it off to the next house. Instead I head inside to clean up. A quick wash with a cloth is all I can manage now. Then I will take the girls back from Sophia who has them at the park. Hopefully they will be tired enough for a nap because I certainly need one.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Winter seems to be dragging it's feet this year. Or perhaps this is more normal than we think. One day will be thirty five, the next will hit seventy. It's been like this the whole month. And now, as December ends and we welcome the new year, it warm and sunny weather.

On a good note, we have the expansion cleared. Daryl and Merle will work with the animal hands to move half the cows and some of the horses today. We don't really have fences up yet to hold them but I doubt they will go far. Even if they try, the expansion is still enclosed. All except for the one container we pulled to open the way between the main community and the addition.

Carol is staying back with the kids, helping to move some of the chickens and ducks to their new coops. I hope it gives her and Sophia a chance to work through their argument but I doubt it. She still won't listen to anything different. At least Merle and Daryl have mellowed towards Carl because the tension was crazy for a while there.

Today I'm working with a group to clean and design the train compartments. Michonne and two of her teammates, Jordan and Chris, are acting as guards. Kathy, Katelyn, Carl, Donna, Rachel, Bri, Eric, Andrew, Caleb, and Beth will work with me to clean and design how best to remodel the train cars into rooms.

The compartments are about as wide as a school bus and a little less than the length. Most have a sliding door that opens in the middle. The outsides are mostly colorful, reds and yellows, but a few are older and rusted reds and browns.

We start at the end of the train, the car thats closest to the border between the addition and original. It's shorter than the others, boxy in shape and red in color. The Windows are dark with dirt and silt but a good wash should clear them up. 

"I claim it," Kathy shouts with an extra spring in her step.

"What?" Donna laughs, "You can't just claim it."

Kathy grins back, hoping up the stairs and tossing back an answer, "This speaks to my soul so it's mine!"

Amused laughter erupts from us all but no one cares enough to argue. Instead we follow her up the two metal steps. She ducks inside, glowing happily as she looks around the dim inside.

The floor is filthy but solid. There's a few boxes tucked in the far corner and a short stack of wooden palates in the center. The ceiling is waterstained but solid and while it smells stale there is no mold to be seen which is good.

"We should split into two teams so we're not tripping over each other while we clean," I suggest.

The others turn to face me, a few set down their buckets of supplies. We have multiple bottles of bleach, tile cleaner, and glass cleaner as well as mops, brooms, and various scrub brushes. Okay, time to take charge again. 

I order, "Kathy, Katelyn, Donna, and Rachel, yall work on getting this one clean. Since Kathy's claimed it, she can decide how it will be remodeled. And if anyone sees one they want as their new home, let the rest of us know. Sound good?"

They all quickly agree. I slip back out, the others following me. We head to the next cart on the track.

Michonne has split the guys so one is at the door, guarding each group. Jordan follows us as Chris relaxes against the metal railing at the back of the train. She climbs the ladder to the top of the train where she'll have the best line of sight to keep watch. 

The second car, since numbering them is the only way to keep them straight, is also a vibrant red color. It opens with a sliding door on the side, three large white letters of some company painted on the part that doesn't move. Jordan slips ahead, climbing up into the car to do a quick sweep before waving us in.

The inside is dusty but again it's solid metal. There are no windows, we'll have to do something about that I suppose. But it will be fairly easy to clean. A few directions to the others get everyone started.

Sweeping is followed by mopping with bleach. Then we scrub the walls, the hard spots on the floor, and the sliding door. Another mopping with water and pinesol to trade the smell of bleach for the scent of citrus. Then we leave it all to air dry.

Kathy and her group are still working on the first car, the end one. The boxes have been removed to sit on the grass outside. The wooden palates all lean against the side of the car. And the windowpanes have all been removed, no doubt they're soaking in cleaner.

Jordan leads us to the next car, number three as we'll call it. This one is older, a rusted brown. The inside has a pile of coal that reaches to the top so we don't bother to open the door. We'll leave this one for later.

Bri asks, "How are we numbering them? Are we cleaning them all?"

"We'll start numbering at the end so Kathy's will be number one," I answer.

She nods, sharing a glance with Eric who pulls out a spraycans, shaking it loudly. He sprays out a large number three on this one, the lines wide. Then he jogs back to number the other two.

We move to the next one, number four. It's a faded yellow but it also looks like a quick scrub will make it brighten. There's a red and green logo on the sliding door but it's not one I recognise. Nor does it matter anymore what the logos mean.

The interior is metal framed with a raw wooden floor. Again there are no windows but this one has two sliding doors on both sides that leave it almost completely open. We open both sides to air out the dust but beyond needing a wash it's mostly clear. 

Bri gives a shout of, "Mine!"

Eric climbs in with an answering, "Hell yeah!"

Again we get to work. First is sweeping, then mopping with bleach. Two handle the floor while the rest of us scrub at the walls and sliding doors. It's quick work, with Kathy's group moving past us as we're finishing up. Again we leave the doors open to air it out.

Kathy's group take a the next one, a sun bleached grey and white that seems mostly empty. We head down to the next, number six, which is a vibrant red. It also has windows that are caked with grit and several boxes stacked tightly inside.

Jordan does a quick sweep, checking that nothing is hiding inside. Then he hops back out to let us climb in. We leave our cleaning supplies outside this time as we'll have to clear out the boxes first.

I open the first one, cutting along the taped center, to reveal boxes of blue latex gloves. The next box has bulky reagents that obviously go to some kind of machine. Caleb opens one that has cases of blood tubes, tall plastic tubes with purple caps that you see at hospitals when they collect your blood.

"Medical supplies?" Beth asks.

Caleb shrugs, "I guess."

The next few boxes show similar items. There's tall tubes with green tops, pink tops, and yellow tops. Then theres a box full of smaller boxes of needles. Another box holds bags of plastic hubs for the needles to twist into. There's even bags of tourniquets filling another box, the blue and yellow rubber bands used to tie around your arm when blood is drawn.

"Leave this here until Lisa can sort it out," I tell them.

We climb back down, closing the door behind us. I have Jordan radio Lisa to tell her what we found. We move on, sparing a glance at the next car where Kathy and her group are opening boxes that look the same.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The wagon bumps along, taking us all home. I lean back against Daryl who has his back against the side of the wagon. We're all exhausted from working all day, relieved it's over and grateful to Maggie who drove the wagon out to pick us all up.

We end up leaving nine more train cars untouched. Besides the two with medical supplies that our team and Kathy's found, there was another that looked like it was shipping large instruments although I'm unsure of their purpose. Then there was one full of light fixtures as well as two full of sinks and faucets. The others we left were full of gravel.

There were twenty four train cars that we cleaned. That should be more than enough for everyone who wants one. Besides Kathy claiming the first one and Bri and Eric claiming the sixth one, Caleb claimed number twenty three. 

He chose the one that's colored a deep plum, although it looks brighter now that its clean. It has no windows, only three of the cars have windows and one just has openings but no glass. But he's already said he wants to remove the sliding doors from both sides and frame in windows on the back side and a door on the front. 

It was sitting at a bend in the tracks where they curl back at a somewhat sharp angle. The new border is pressed along the back of that car as well as the ones past it. The last car, the engine, doesn't really have the room to remodel it so we left it alone.

Eric took care to paint the number on the outside of each. Beth made a list of the cars, what's in the ones we left and who claimed the others. I'm glad she brought a pen and pocket notebook because I didn't think to bring one.

We've also outlined a basic design for each car. Although whoever moves in will have the final say. It's mostly to help us organize the remodels as smoothly as we can.

The first thing we will do is frame in the floor as nearly all are metal. Then we'll put down boards, perhaps even flooring or carpet. Insulation rolls on the wall and ceiling will be covered with plywood which can then be painted if they want. Then we'll put in counters, cabinets, and beds. 

We'll use curtains to section off a portion to be the bathroom. It will have a simple tub with a pipe leading outside to barrels that we can reuse to water the fields. Then there will be compost toilets filled with sawdust or cat litter.

We'll remove the sliding door from the front side, frame it in and put in a door, maybe a window or two. We may even see about putting in some kind of wood burning stove for cooking and heating. Then, of course, we'll have to build a small porch with steps for each on.

The area around the tracks is mostly trees which we plan to cut down and a few roads. The road follows along, intersecting with the tracks in multiple spots. We can probably build up communal kitchens at these junctures. Maybe even another pavilion like we have by the wall.

The parts of the area that's full of trees will be cleared the best we can, mostly for safety. Then we'll build up a garden, perhaps a greenhouse. We can also put a duck and chicken coop out here since Beth said she would like to tend to them.

I don't question why she thinks she will be near enough to the train cars instead of by the houses on the street we've enclosed. Hershel will be pissed, I'm sure, but she's old enough to decide. And hearing her and Caleb planning how they will decorate their car was quite adorable really.

The wagon halts, the horses stomping loudly on the road. We're only just now passing the open inner border so a few get off here. Kathy slides down, her niece behind her. Donna and Rachel both moan tiredly as they climb out. Then Chris follows, patting the side and calling goodbye.

We follow neighbors road, stopping twice more to let others off. We'll need to send out teams to find more lumber and concrete. Maybe some wood burning stoves or something that can be used to make one. More generators would be nice too.

Daryl squeezes my shoulder, massaging the tight muscles. I moan, letting my head slip forward and relaxing beneath his hands. No doubt he's tired as well. I can't imagine moving the herds was at all easy. But like always, he doesn't complain.

We have an hour before supper so we'll head home to clean up. I wish we could fix the plumbing to work but no one yet knows how. So instead we move buckets of water in when we need them. 

We also rigged the drains to empty in an outside drum. We were just letting the water go out as it normally would but that was a waste. So we put drums connected to each house to collect the water from the baths which will then flow down to water the greenhouses. That way we're not wasting water.

My legs burn, my back aches painfully, as we walk up the lane to our house. The wagon never comes inside the wall, always stopping before the pavilion. So the last leg of the walk is always on foot. But at least we didn't have to walk the whole way.

I tell Merle and Daryl about our plans for the train cars. It lets me focus on something other than my aching body. They listen, rarely offering comments. 

At least tomorrow is a rest day for us. That's another thing we've initiated. Everyone gets rotating off days, one every seven days. That way no one is worked too hard. It's also something good to look forward to since we stopped having movie nights.

I suppose we'll spend the day resting. Maybe we'll have a picnic or I'll read and play with the kids. Maybe we'll take a family walk or watch a movie if we want. 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

We called a meeting in the pavilion at dinner. A quick supper of spaghetti was had while we discussed the options of the expansion. I had a rough sketch of the expansion up, with the roads and train cars identified as well as marks for those already claimed. 

With twenty four of the train cars cleared we must assign some to who will move into them. Once we have the cars assigned them we can get started on fixing them up. So I ask the group who want to lay claim to a car while I show them what we have planned.

The roads meet the train at cars two, six, eleven, fifteen, eighteen, twenty two, and thirty. We can assign those first and spread out from there. Skipping the ones we haven't touched of course; numbers three, six, seven, nine, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, nineteen, and twenty.

Kathy claimed car number one and Bri and Eric chose car four. We still need to assign car two and build a pavilion where the road intersects. It won't be a big pavilion, only big enough to stretch from one side of the road to the other and hold a table or two and a cooking area. Whoever takes car five will also use the same pavilion as the first few.

Car eight is in an odd spot, stuck between cars that we won't use, so I'm not sure who will want that one. Perhaps when we open the others up it will be claimed. Or we can always use the unclaimed ones as storage units.

Megan has asked for car ten, a pale yellow with doors that open on both sides. She's been very quiet since it came out that Rick got five women pregnant. Maybe because she was on Ricks team, although shes left that now. Instead, she will be taking a border guard shift on the expansion.

Donna has chosen train car number eighteen with Rachel taking seventeen and Kiera claiming sixteen. She will be at a road crossing and wants to keep a rabbit pen. Apparently, the pen that we've had behind house number six, the one Malcolm and Michael stay in, has been far too crowded. We're going to split their rabbits into four groups, sending one to Donna, another to an RV on neighbors drive, and the last will go to a house in the new enclosed subdivision road. 

Donna was the loudest in confronting Rick. She challenged him at the pavilion during supper, demanding he make a choice. He scoffed, angry at the challenge and probably embarrassed too. He lashed back that it was just sex and he's not responsible for her misunderstanding that. She slapped the hell out of him for that.

Not that it did any good. His team disbanded, no longer wanting to deal with the drama. Plus, Carl lashed out too in a fight that Silas and Jonsie had to mediate. Rick has been sulking, moving into an RV at the border gate. 

Michonne moved into the first house with Carl and Judith. She already spends all her time there, bonding with both kids. Honestly, I think Judith sees Michonne more often than Rick, he still avoids her most days.

Jonsie has claimed train car number twenty one. That way there will be a peacekeeper in the extension since Silas will keep his RV at the wall pavilion. It will help to have them in easy reach from anywhere in Pheonix Nest.

Barry has also decided to move out into the extension with his daughters. They want a house in the part of the subdivision we've enclosed. I think it's mostly to get away from Rick, to give his daughter a bit of security and support duri ng her pregnancy. 

It will also help that his daughter Ashley will be there to help anyone if they get injured. Lisa said she's been doing great, learning fast and confident. So our extension will have a healer for when it's needed.

April and Heather have also asked for one of the new houses to share. Both are still upset with Rick and want as far from him as they can get. Especially since he's ignoring that he's at all responsible for getting them pregnant. 

Andrew and Dalton, who I guess are a couple, have chosen car number twenty two. The road intersects there so we'll be able to put up a small pavilion for them to use. And as Caleb and Beth claimed the next one we will also build up the chicken pens on the road.

Austin, who rarely talks to anyone, has claimed car twenty four. Apparently him and Caleb are good friends. He usually covers guard shifts when needed so he will take a shift on the expansion. His also has long narrow windows that stretch the length of the train car. The sliding door is small and narrow at the end instead of the side like the others.

Katelyn wants train car thirty, the last one the road intersects with. She has also asked us to either build up an outdoor kitchen or find another food truck. That way she can cook the food for those in the expansion like Robert does at the main pavilion.

Chris and Jordan have chosen the last two, both a pale yellow with similar markings. They are both quiet, similar in manner to Michonne actually. And while they will continue to go on runs as part of her team, they've also volunteered for guard shifts on the border nearest their cars.

We will still have several unclaimed cars. We may turn them into bath houses so we won't have to find a bathtub for each train car. It will also save space in the occupied cars. 

Once the suggestion is made, everyone is quick to agree. So we'll use cars twelve, twenty six, and thirty one as communal bath houses. Each will have four tubs that will drain out into barrels for us to reuse to water the fields and gardens. 

The cars themselves will have a bed, a dresser, and a compost toilet. We will try to include a small wood burning stove or a modified heater for each, probably in a corner seperate from the others. Then there will be a table and chairs set of some kind, maybe a couch or loveseat if there is room instead.

Each car will have a small square patio built with three or four steps. That way it will be easy to get in and out without struggling to climb. Then we will remove the sliding doors and frame in some tall thin windows and doors with the area available. For those with a sliding door on the back, we will frame it and put in a window to add light.

We will build a pavilion, just a small structure with a solid roof to offer shade. Each will have a table or two for people to meet and hang out. Maybe we can even bring in some outdoor furniture and put in a fire pit if they want.

It will be a lot of work to get them all arranged. At least with it still being winter we have a lot of our farm hands to help out where needed. We will spend the next few weeks, all of January, fixing the cars up. Hopefully we can get everyone moved in by February. Or at least that's the plan.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Merle has drawn up designs for a simple water tower. He pulled Billy, Tyreese, and four others to help him construct the first one by the pavilion, on the side nearest the food truck. That way they will hopefully have running water for food prep. Or at least, that's the plan. 

If it works he wants to build one for each house. He thinks he can hook it up to the pipes already inside. It's his hope thatonce rigged up we will be able to have showers again. I'm not sure if that will work or not but it's worth a try.

At the very least it should help out some. And it will be more water storage so we're less likely to have a shortage again. And if he can get them built before the spring rains come them they can collect water for us to have this summer.

Daryl and Koda are heading out to hunt again. Several others are working on fencing in the cows and horses. Thankfully they've stayed where we left them so it should be easy enough to close them in.

The kids have a school day today and tomorrow. Rosa offered to keep the three youngest babies since the kids in her class will be going through the farm with Hershel and his trained. They're getting hands on learning in every area to see where they will best fit once they're old enough to help.

Elmo, Koda's father, as well as Lulu and Nakoma, Koda's mother and sister, will work with me, Caleb, and Beth. About two dozen people agree to help so I put them in teams and assign them a car. They already know to nail down a basic frame.

Three groups will act as suppliers, taking tools and such to those who need them. We also have several rolls of insulation aside just waiting for the floor to be put down. Not to mention all the piles of wood we have waiting.

Kathy didn't want a porch added. Her car already has a small metal railing with two steps down at the back. Instead, she works on the inside with Carol, Glenn, and Dale.

For our team, with Elmo guiding us, we are building the porches. Elmo lays out four two by fours to act as the frame. Me and Lulu get to work nailing them into place while Elmo and Nakoma hold the wood in place. Caleb and Beth are cutting boards for us to use as we need them.

We add three more beams, one in the very center and one halfway on either side. Those are also nailed into place. Elmo checks again that its all holding good before directing us to add the wooden planks over the top.

The planks are already cut to size. They will drape over the edges of the frame by a few inches on each side but they are thick enough to hold up well. We lay them long ways, nailing them down into each of the wooden slants of the frame.

Elmo has moved with a shovel to the train car. He stabs it down into the ground, making a dip in the ground. Nakoma takes him a two by four that he hammers down into the hole once it's deep enough. He repeats it further down, on the other side of the open doorway.

Beth drags the planks into place while Lulu and I nail them down. By the time we're done Elmo is hammering in the third pole. Lulu walks over the porch top that we made, bouncing slightly to be sure it's sturdy.

It takes all four of us to lift the porch top and move it into place. The top slides onto the poles which fit snugly in the four corners. Then we each take a corner and hammer in two long nails to hold it in place.

The patio stands at chest high on me, slightly lower on others. And its pressed flush against the train car, centered at the opening. Elmo lifts Beth up to walk across it, insuring it is sturdy enough.

I wipe my forehead, looking in the car at Bri and Eric's team as they finish nailing in a wooden frame on the floor. The sliding doors are already removed, sitting over on the road with the doors to the next one down. There are two rolls of insulation sitting to one side just waiting to be used.

Next we work on the stairs. Elmo has three planks that already have four openings like a 'v' carved out by Caleb. He moves them into place while Lulu and Nakoma nail them against the platform. 

The three are placed with one centered to the platform and the other two on either side. All of the carved openings are level, Elmo slides planks onto them to make up the steps. He double checks that they are level before we nail them down.

Once that is done, Eric steps out into it grinning and thanking us. They have the rolls of insulation shoved on the floor, wedged into place within the frame. Elmo helps pass him the plywood that he and Bri will nail down for their floor.

We move down to the next car that's claimed, car ten that's Megan's. Katelyn and Kiara are helping her put down the insulation in the frame that Andrew and Dalton put down. The two teens are already passing plyboard planks up into the car to be nailed down.

We get to work on her patio, laying down and nailing the frame. Beth joins Katelyn and Kiara, hammering nails into the plywood floor. Dalton and Andrew have moved to framing up the walls.

The boards along the top go down easy while Elmo and Nakoma put the four wooden poles into place. He measures repeatedly as he works to be sure it's right. Once we get the platform finished, they help us move it into place and nail it down.

The stairs are already cut, matching the three previous planks. We push them into place, more left of center due to the uneven ground. Then we nail them down, adding the stairs while Elmo checks repeatedly that they're level.

We take a break for lunch that Robert brought. It's sandwiches made of a thick pita bread type thing thats cut open and stuffed full. Each sandwich has lettuce, tomato, and cucumber with shredded chunks of chicken and duck.

Everyone just sits on the ground, where ever it's free. Lunch passes in tired conversation. Kathy has the walls up and finished. Eric and Bris car is also settled so their helpers will move to work on the next group of cars in line, numbers sixteen through eighteen.

We move to follow. Caleb again works on cutting boards for us while we work on the frame. The afternoon passes much like the morning. 

We work until it starts to darken, probably five in the evening. We managed to reach car twenty three, Caleb and Beth's car. We'll come back tomorrow to finish the walls of theirs as well as work on the last few.

We all pile into the two wagons which carry us back to the pavilion. Maggie drives one while Hershel drives the second. It takes nearly thirty minutes for us to make it all the way through but that may have more to do with how slow they move.

Daryl and Merle already have the kids set up at a table under the pavilion. There's a large blue barrell on top of the food truck with white pipes leading from the bottom of the barrel and down to the inside of the food truck. The top has that wide upside down umbrella looking thing that helps it collect rainwater.

Merle happily telis us all how the barrel works and that it was easy to install. He wants to put up one in each house and connect it to the pipes. He says that he thinks he can rig up the umbrella things on the roof with pipes leading to the barrels we can keep in the attics. It sounds easy when he explains it.

We tell them how we have the inside framed in, insulated, and walled. All we have to do is frame in and add doors and windows. Then we'll put down flooring, mostly carpets.

Daryl passes Lenore to me, motioning to my chest as the reason why. I lift my shirt, tucking her in close to feed as conversations continue around us. He watches her eat, smirking proudly which makes me snort amused.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It took four more days to get the train cars complete. We got it all built up and sealed. Elmo, Caleb, and one of the bikers named Tallon took over framing in the doors and the windows where needed.

Michonne and Adrian teams went on a run to find doors for us to use. They went out to a home improvement store that we've hit several times already. Then came back with over forty doors, many half or full glass, wrapped in plastic and bordered in thick moulding.

We used the full glass ones for the cars without windows to offer more light. Kathy chose a glass one with a swan etching done over the glass. Beth chose one with fogged glass to offer privacy. 

For the bath cars we spent two days working on them. CB and Merle came out to rig up the pipes to all drain out into a large blue barrel. Merle even mentioned rigging up the upside down umbrella things on top of each train car with pipes leading down into the individual cars.

The flooring was put down, then the walls and ceiling. Four clawfoot tubs, one in each corner, were installed. Then Merle, Daryl, and CB installed a track on the ceiling to seperate and offer privacy around each tub.

Merle and his group, including Tyreese and Billy, have installed water barrels in the attic of all seven houses within the wall. There are also several of the upside down umbrella things on each roof. They're made of plastic and pipes which drain down into the barrels. 

CB had to get involved to get it rigged to the house pipes because the others were struggling to figure it out. But it was amazing to turn the faucet and have real water come out. You would've thought they had saved the world with how everyone was celebrating.

We had music at the pavilion, practically a party. The grills cooked burgers for everyone and chips were offered for us all. There was even cupcakes for desert.

More people gathered to help him with the other houses. They split to two teams with Merle and CB leading as they worked through the other six houses in two days. I'm fairly sure there was tears in several eyes at having running water back.

They sent Billy and Tyreese to rig up the umbrella things on the RVs outside the wall. Merle and CB will spend the next few days connecting them to the internal tanks with a barrel to collect extra water in. Our kitchen table is overrun with various plans and blueprints of all that he's been working on.

Today we're taking a break to meet with the council. We each share updates on our projects. All of them are coming along wonderfully.

Besides the train car remodeling and the rain barrels, we have the green houses and a group that Barry and Hershel are leading to check the new houses. The houses all look promising. And besides needing a thorough clean in, they're all in good condition.

Everyone is smiling brightly. A proud energy has everyone working happier. Everywhere you go there is laughter and joy clearly visible.

Nick clears his throat nervously, looking around with a regretful air. He speaks hesitantly, "We have a problem."

He flinches as everyone turns to him. He adds quickly, "Two problems. Or, well, they're the same. Kinda anyways."

Barry holds up his hand to halt the rambling. He asks Nick to explain. He looks around like he would rather do anything else.

"You see," he tries to explain, "Rick is nuts."

Merle and Daryl both snort amused. Michonne sighs tiredly but waves him to continue. He scratches his neck, looking around as if a distraction will appear to save him.

With a tired sigh and a slump of his shoulders, he confesses, "He's been yelling and arguing with someone only he sees. Several of the guys have checked on him and he's always alone. But he talks and gestures like someone else is there."

"How long?" Silas asks concerned.

Nick frowns, answering, "A few months that I know of but it's gotten worse over time. This morning he left his post at the border gate and was halfway down the road, yelling and firing off his gun at nothing. Jami, Eddie, and Michael had to chase him down and bring him back."

"Should've left him out there," Merle mutters surly.

"Where is he now?" Silas asks, shooting a warning glance at Merle.

Nick sighs again, "We locked him in his RV after Michael knocked him out. We checked for drugs but there wasn't any. And we removed all the weapons."

Silas nods, promising to look into it. Daryl eyes Nick warily, asking, "What's the second problem or was that it?"

Nick flinches again, looking more pained as he admits, "Hollie went nuts too."

That quiets the table. None of us have seen much of Hollie since she had her baby. Mostly she stays tucked away in the house with Lisa or Debra for company. Her son Chase has practically moved in with Carl to my knowledge.

Carol is the one to ask for an explaination. Nick sighs, slumping forward to hide his head in his arms on the table top. His voice is muffled as he admits, "She jumped the border."

"What?" Several voices shout at once.

He lifts his head, leaning back and explaining, "She snuck out to the border, climbed the container, and jumped. It was over past the pools where Malcolm usually stays guard. He had fallen asleep and didn't wake up until she was already far down the road."

The others erupt in whispers of surprise and accusation. Nick sighs, rubbing his head tiredly. It's clear that this will turn bad if we're not careful. Either way, we will need to tighten border security.

"With it being so dark," he defends, "he wasn't even sure who it was or if they were one of ours or not. It wasn't until we went out to check this morning that we found her nearly two miles out being eaten."

"She's dead?" Carol gasps.

He nods regretfully. Taylor looks around worriedly, asking, "What about her kids?"

"The older one Chase has been staying with Carl for weeks," Michonne answers.

Nick nods, adding, "The baby is with Lisa for now."

"We can take him," Taylor offers. Then he blushes under the attention, adding, "Me and Oliver wanted to adopt before the world went crazy. We will take him."

Merle shrugs, "Sounds good to me. Y'all want both or just the baby?"

Taylor shrugs, "Either will work I think but I'll ask Oliver to be sure."

We call a vote, mostly so we can say it was fair. Both Oliver and Taylor are good people so we don't mind letting them keep the baby. And if they have trouble there will be plenty of people around to help them.

The meeting is called to a close. We will make an announcement at supper about Hollie and the baby now going to Taylor and Oliver. We will also update them about how well the various projects are going. And I'm sure Andrew and Dalton will add Hollie's name to our memorial wall.

With an embarrassed blush, he leaves the table to go find Lisa. He says he wants to get the baby first and whatever supplies he can. Then he says he will talk to Oliver and talk with Chase to see where they stand.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Rick going crazy was a massive issue. He lashed out, angry about being locked up. And he was more dangerous than we expected. He broke out, injuring Eddie and Malcolm as he did so. He shot both and ran out the gate, shooting and shouting at invisible enemies.

We've sent out groups to search for him but no one has seen him since. And we dont have the resources to keep looking. Mostly because we don't know where to look.

It's left everyone uneasy. But after a week with no sight of him, we relax. If he shows back up, we'll deal with him then. If not, well, it may be for the best.

I've taken a rotation on the border again. Most mornings I'll stay at a point along neighbors road, halfway between the border gate and the extension. It's an easy point, clear view through a few scattered trees for thirty feet before you hit a thin forest. So I've started taking the kids with me.

There's an awning thing built up of thin white plastic pipes and draped with a heavy weather treated cloth. It covers half of the container to offer some protection from the elements. There's also heavy rugs draped over the container so we're not walking over hot metal. Each watch point has a similar setup for the guards comfort and safety.

Beneath the awning is a low metal coffee table and three folding chairs. There's usually a small cooler holding bottled water and Powerade even if there isn't a way to keep them cold. There's also a bottle of sunblock kept at each watch point in case anyone needs them. 

The kids like coming to watch with me. Daryl walks with us to help me get the kids up. He carries the playpen I use to corral the girls so theyre not at risk. After a quick kiss to each of us, he slips back down the ladder.

Carl, Chase, and Judith are with us today. Judith is put in the playpen with Imogene, Kendall, and Lenore. Carl and Chase both drag a chair to the other end of the container where it is welded to the next. They set up there, whispering back and forth.

Micah likes to puff up and stand in the sun, looking out at the land around us. Hes been oddly quiet lately, more reserved than usual. Im not sure if hes mimicking Daryl or if something is truly wrong. I've tried to talk to him about it but he just shrugs me off. 

Emmett has a little wooden crossbow with three little wooden arrows with stuffed felt ends. I have no clue where Daryl found it but from the moment he presented it to Emmett, that boy hasn't put it down. He even insisted on having a strap made from an old woven black belt so he can carry it on his back. 

It's amazingly adorable to see him shadowing Daryl as he works. He and Micah spend several mornings with Daryl tending to the farm animals, mostly the goats. I think they just love him and want to be like him. He puffs up proudly as they help him out, so much like his brother Merle.

Sarah decided she doesn't like the dreads anymore so I spend most of this morning gently smoothing out her hair. She stays patiently still although she insists on a story. Not knowing what to tell her I end up just telling her a movie as if it's a story. The lion king comes to life with the kids excitedly singing along to the songs and laughing at the exaggerated voices.

The sun is warm but the wind is blowing. The kids are laughing, enjoying themselves with a freedom rarely seen in the world as it is now. The sky is full of white puffy clouds making the day feel rather idyllic. 

I gently comb Sarah's hair, careful not to tug. Starting at the ends and slowly working upward. She asks for another story so I tell them the movie Oliver and company. They love that the animals talk and sing. I promise them that I'll search for the DVD later, we may have them.

Micah gives a startled shout, pointing off in the distance. I order them back beneath the awning where at least they won't be seen. Carl and Chase hurry over, each grabbing a handgun from the table and staying close to the edge of the curtain.

I step out, rifle in one hand and radio in the other. It takes a while to spot the movement. Whoever it is, they're being careful. I radio it in anyways, asking for an extra guard or two just to be safe. 

They are steadily moving closer, I can tell that much. And its not many that I can see, maybe three or four people. But they're sticking to trees, hurrying from cover to cover. They must see me but they are keeping themselves hidden

I order Chase to help carry Sarah and Emmett down. Micah goes down first at a nod from me. I tell Carl to carry Judith and Lenore. He's smart enough to turn the table on its side and press it against the side of the playpen. That way the thick metal can act as a shield should these people open fire.

I radio again, "They're keeping out of any clear line of sight."

The radio crackles to life, Nicks voice coming scratchy over the line, "I've got Michael and Billy coming around beyond the border. Kyle and Jami are coming to join you now."

I can hear the bike rumbling along the road. Kyle is one of Silas riders. He's shorter than most but strong and muscled. His shaved head still spots evidence of where his hairline was receding but his beard is always kept neatly trimmed. He also has the evening shift at the gate nearly every night.

Carl and Chase clamor back up the ladder. Each one grabs a kid, Lenore and Emmett, before they're back to climbing down. I tell them to come back next for Imogene and Kendall.

The people coming have stopped. No doubt they're crouched just out of sight. But I'm still visible. If they were friendly, they would come out.

It's dangerous for me to stand out here like this. But I'm also a diversion so they don't notice the men sneaking up on them. I raise my rifle, using the scope to try to find them again.

A bush bristles to the right and I almost turn to it. But there's a shadow next to a tree that I'm sure is a person. I sweep the area around, locating a second lump, low to the ground, that I'm also sure is a person. I radio in the location, lowering the rifle slightly.

Carl and Chase clamor back up the ladder. Both hurry to grab the girls who have sat quietly through the tension. That's one good thing, at least. All my kids know to be quiet when there's a threat. They know not to attract it's attention.

I watch them both hurrying down, careful to hold the girls clinging to them. The engine is close, barely a minute away. So at least there will be help soon. I just have to keep an eye on these people until the others can get them.

I raise my rifle again, looking through the scope. This time I saw a pale face under dark hair. It was barely a second, ducking down immediately. I scan around for the others but I can't pinpoint them for certain.

I hear the engine cut, knowing Kyle and Jami are here. So I don't look over when I hear movement on the ladder. Instead I try to scan again for movement. But besides the one that moved, I cant locate the others.

I tell them as much when they reach the top. Both come up, guns raised and scanning the woods. Kyle notices movement further to the right but can't locate anything that could be a person. Jami quickly butts in that she sees one, slightly closer than the one I've been watching. That has Kyle searching closer to the forest edge in case they're really brave.

"Don't shoot!" A man's voice calls out.

"Show yourselves!" Jami yells back.

The one she located is the one that spoke. A tall man with an olive completion and shaggy dark hair. He raises his hands, tense and ready but willing to step out and be seen.

"Come closer and call out your friends!" Kyle orders.

The man frowns, looking from one to the next and back again. There's a stubborn set to his shoulders, something protective in his stance. I can already see that he's not willing to risk them.

I lower my gun, stepping closer to the edge to bring his attention back to me. It works although he never looses track of Kyle and Jami. That's good. It shows he has good instincts.

"We need to know you're not a threat," I call out, trying to sound friendly. "Come where we can see you, bring out the others. You have my word, we won't fire first."

He looks closer, tensing as he shouts back, "Your word?"

"Our colony is called Pheonix Nest," I explain. "We are ruled by a council. I'm head of the council. My name is Charlie."

He still hesitates, still uncertain. He calls out, almost challengingly, "I have your word?"

I lower my gun further, nodding the others to do so as well. Then I nod back at him, answering, "We will defend ourselves but we never fire first. You have my word!"

He seems to accept that. Turning, throwing another look at me that says I better keep my word. Then he motions to the forest, waving his people forward.

The first two to rise are young, early teens bit older than Carl I think. The next is smaller still. Then a woman rushes up next to the small one. Then three men jump up, moving to block the kids from view. 

I let out a breath in surprise. Families! These are families. All dirty and skinny, half starved even. But they're families!

I call over the radio, "We need transport, a bus. We have people we need brought inside. Lisa and Hershel, you two meet at the border gate. We will need about thirty people checked."

Various voices reply, some calling affirmative over each other. The man is looking closely at me, cautious and hesitantly hopeful. I can't imagine the hell they've been through out there but they are together and alive. 

"Y'all come closer to the border," I call to them. "It's hard to get a line of sight in the trees so if cursed come up we need the room to hit them."

He motions for them to obey which they do once he's approved. A few are crying, probably stress. But several look up in hope and shock. I figure I can at least tell them our rules, our laws. That should help settle them some. And while I look them over carefully, I keep returning my gaze to their leader. He keeps himself stationed between them and the forest but his attention is mostly on us, on me.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Their leaders name is Roman. He was a cop, a police chief, before things went crazy. He admitted that they had more people, staying in an apartment building that they had secured. When they lost it they sought safety, followed signs another group had put out. Just admitting that much causes several to burst into tears.

They're too afraid to be seperate so we do the bite check as a group. Hershel says we'll need to watch what they eat for the first week or two. Something dangerous called refeeding syndrome. Roman seems to understand. 

They allow bite check but they cling to each other. Several have wounds, recent things. But none were made by the cursed. A few were clearly raped, Lisa is careful with those. 

I tell them that we'll house them together at first. Once we get an idea of where to put them we can let them spread out more. I radio to Glenn who's working in the expansion today. There's only really him and Maggie left in that house. I ask if they'd be willing to give it over to the new group. He's quick to agree.

I tell them about our expansion. I tell them that we'll have more homes soon. I assure them that they won't be crowded together for too long. They dont seem to care, too desperate to remain together.

Hershel says that they will need vitamins and each one will need several checkups in the next month. He also says that they won't be able to work for at least two weeks. They're just much too weak right now.

We load them back in the bus. Most are in a state of shock still. Several flinch if we get close, especially our guys. So Lisa and I ride with them, explaining the different parts of the compound and what jobs we all do. Some listen intently but others look too shell shocked. A few break repeatedly into sobs.

We reach the food truck which is as close as we can get. The road is blocked by the pavilion so we'll walk from here. We keep talking to them, keep up a commentary of everything we pass. It seems to help some.

Robert peaks out of the food truck, asking if he should whip up an early supper. I decline, telling him Hershel said they could only have soft things for the next few days. He nods, waving to those that look his way.

More sob as we pass the wall gate that's always open. I don't know if it's the houses, the greenhouses in the yard, or the kids playing in the street. My kids actually. 

I sigh loudly, "I told you bunch to get home."

Carl shrugs, "They wanted to ride bikes."

I glance over at Dale, sitting in a chair in the road to watch them. He gives a sheepish smile, shrugs uncertainly. I laugh, telling them to clear a path for us to come through. They hurry to push toys, cozy cars, and bicycles out of the way.

"How long have you all been here?" Roman asks, his voice pained.

I glance back at him, at his people still looking around in shock. I answer, "Almost the beginning. Our original group was about twenty people, more have come since. Yours is the first big group we've seen."

He flinches at that, "This isn't even a quarter of what we had."

I nod understandingly, "Yeah, if it ain't the dead it's the living."

He frowns so I explain, "We have teams that go out for supplies or just to sweep the area nearly every day. We've run into trouble a time or two but thankfully we've held the border."

He nods, looking around carefully, cautiously. He is still tense, has been the whole time. But it's obvious he wants to trust that we are what we say.

"We will have a council meeting tomorrow," I tell him. "You all are welcome to attend but it may be better if just a few come. We'll ask questions, and answer any in turn."

He eyes me cautiously, "You'll answer?"

I look back steadily, "We also give updates to the community at supper time in the pavilion. That way everyone is kept informed of what's going on here."

He blinks, looking a bit overwhelmed suddenly. I point out the house, leading them up the driveway which has a storage unit like most of the others. We slip between that and the green house, then up the walk to the front door.

They pile in, blinking around confused. Maggie comes down the steps carrying bags, Glenn is just behind her. They nod to the group, whispering to me that the rooms are clear and they'll bring more blankets as soon as they drop off their stuff. Then they're gone.

I give a quick run of the rooms, leading them into the kitchen as I explain. Beth and Kiara are both there, unloading boxes of fruit preserve and various oatmeal. There's even a large pan of it cooking away, giving off the scent of apples and cinnamon.

I thank the girls, helping them to fix bowls and cups of oatmeal for each person. Beth even insists on handing out some dried fruit pieces, mostly apples and strawberries. Kiara passes out bottles of cold water to each person.

Lisa and I get them settled. Maggie and Glenn return, dropping off blankets in the living room before leaving again. Beth and Kiara head out, promising to check on them tomorrow. 

Lisa reminds them not to gorge themselves. She tells them that they will need to eat several small meals throughout the day but only mild things. She heads out, promising to return with vitamins for them all to take.

Roman stops me as I start to leave. With choked words he says thank you. I pull him close, hugging him. He's trembling, still afraid but now daring to hope. I reassure him again that they are safe here. 

Daryl is with the kids when I step outside. He pulls me close, rubbing his cheek against mine as if scenting me. I chuckle at that, asking how his day went.

He grins, "We got ten towers up in the corn field."

They've been building water towers in the field. Each one is twenty feet tall so it won't interfere with crop growth. Each will have a barrel at the top and those upside down umbrella things for catching water. Then a pipe leads down for us to access as we need. 

Daryl continues, "We're hoping for twice that in the bean field but we need more supplies. We're gonna have another run, four teams together to get a big haul."

I tell him he's done well. He laughs, asking if I'm free to go home yet or if I have more work. I reassure him that I'm free for the rest of the day. 

He glances meaningfully at the kids still playing. With a teasing voice he whispers, "They'll be distracted for a while. Wanna go have some fun?"

I laugh, kissing his cheek and taking off for our house. He laughs, chasing me. The kids turn, starting to follow before Dale calls them back. We have a couple hours before supper time. Dale is watching the kids. That means we're free for the moment.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Roman looked calm even if his hands tremble slightly. His group settled as one in a mass of blankets and pillows in the living room. None of them seem willing to be out of touching range of the others. Hershel says it's because of the trauma they faced and their fear of us.

Lisa said to give them two days before we question them. She and Ashley along with her other trainee Ben have been staying with them, checking them over. Hershel helps too but they react better to the women. Ben is barely tolerated and that's probably because hes short and slender with a timid personality and a bright smile.

Beth and Kiara have been bringing them supplies. Those two, both small and gentle natured, have helped ease the fears somewhat. And the new group is already looking better now that they're clean and in new clothes.

Roman looks out of place in the pale jeans and green t shirt. Somehow I imagine him in suits and ties. He smiles sadly when I mention it, mostly for conversation. He says he used to only wear suits or slacks, rarely jeans.

He wants to do the interview alone. His people are nervous but he admitted that the only ones strong enough to talk about it must stay for the peace of mind of the others. Beth sings softly, her and Kiara serving soup to the group while we slip away.

The council is already waiting for us at hill house. We even have Hershel sitting in, mostly so he can help if there's any issues. I introduce Roman to each member in turn before inviting him to sit at the table between me and Barry. That way he won't feel like he's on trial.

He sits stiffly but offers a smile, understanding that we're trying to make him feel comfortable. Silas will ask the questions for this meeting. But first we go over updates to give him a moment to feel more settled.

I begin with asking, "How are the water towers coming along?"

Merle grins, answering proudly, "We got the houses and the pavilion RVs hooked up. There's ten towers over the corn field and twenty over the beans. We've got the train cars set up, CB will double check them today. We're working on the neighbors road RV groups next."

Everyone grins proudly at that news. Merles group has been working hard on the water towers so it's definitely something to be proud of. And its a benefit to the whole community.

"How are the greenhouses coming along?" I ask next.

Miranda answers, "The tomatoes are coming in the best but the melons have a colony of ants taking over that we have to deal with. The others are coming along well."

"Okay," I acknowledge, making a mental note to check again soon. "The train cars are done and people are already moving in. The houses in extension are still a work in progress."

Hershel adds, "We have the first three clean but we're still working on the others."

"What about the run CB asked for?" I ask, "He did say he needed more panels for the solar power system he wants to install in the extension."

Michonne answers, "We have it planned for three days lasting roughly three weeks."

Adrian adds, "We plan to send two teams on the run but it will be a long haul effort."

"Be sure they have a gas ration as well as extra canisters in case they find more along the way," I remind them although they've probably already thought of it.

"How are the animals?" I ask next.

Hershel smiles, "Four cows are pregnant as well as another pig. The recent chicks have hatched too adding forty seven to our numbers."

Everyone smiles at that. Moving on I ask about the pregnancies. Again it's Hershel that answers, "They're doing well health wise. Emotionally, I think they're still hurt but they have a lot of support."

He sighs ruefully, "Beth is also pregnant."

No one comments beyond some softly offered congratulations. It's clear he isn't happy but it can't be helped. He will have to get over it eventually. 

Silas clears his throat, taking lead now. He looks calmly at Roman and asks, "Can you tell us your story? We need to know what threats are out there."

Roman nods solemnly, folding his hands on the table as he answers, "We started off in a gated apartment complex. It was three buildings with tall iron fences all around. We had families there, many from a school that me and my men were guarding."

He frowns down at his folded hands, adding, "When the military started opening fire we shot back. We lost a few but gained a lot of weapons, heavy artillery, because they didn't expect us to resist. We even got a few of their guys that helped us. We were good for a while."

He clears his throat, looking around the table. Then he continues, "We hit the stores nearest us. We were lucky to get an early start on things really. But a group attacked. They set fire to our buildings and made noise to draw the biters in. We lost our home and less than half of our people but we got out with many."

He takes a moment to sip at the water in front of him. He also seems to need the moment to collect himself. Not that he was overly emotional. But he was clearly struggling to push down the memories.

I reach out to touch his fist still resting on the table. It's an offer of comfort that he accepts with a shaky smile. I offer to let it rest for a while but he shakes his head, wanting to finish it.

"We traveled for a while in the school buses we were using," he explains. "We also had the armored cars and humvee we took from the military when they attacked. We spent about six months like that. It was difficult to find enough supplies. My people were starving and we were desperate. When we saw the signs we thought..."

He looks away, struggling to hold back the tears. He clears his throat, clinging to my hand as he continues, "It was called Terminus. There were signs all along the train tracks to lead you there. They promised safety for all. It was a trap."

He gasps, pulling my hand closer. I lean closer, gripping his wrist with my other hand. He looks everywhere but at us as he explains, "They were cannibals. They lured people in, trapped them in train cars, and ate them."

Hershel calls a stop but Roman shakes his head, wanting this over. He admits painfully, "They seperated us into groups of ten and they would drag people out, mostly women. They were beaten and raped. We were all starved."

"How'd you escape?" Silas asks softly.

The man laughs humorless, answering, "Some guy showed up at their gate with a shit ton of biters. He was covered in biter blood so they paid him no mind. He blasted apart the gate and let the biters in. Shouting for someone named Lori."

He shakes his head, "He saved us but it wasn't for us. I don't think he was all there in the head either. Never got his name though."

"What happened to him?" Silas asks cautiously.

He shrugs, "Walking around shooting people and calling for Lori to come back. We ran, climbed back in the bus and drove off. Didn't make it five miles before the bus quit and we've been walking since til we found you."

"Why'd you come here?" I can't help but ask, "Why take the risk?"

He looks at me with a small smile, "I heard singing. You were up there with your kids and it looked so impossible."

He laughs, more at himself than anything, "Your finger was never on the trigger. You had your kids get away and stood out in the open with your gun but you never put your finger on the trigger." 

Daryl clears his throat pointedly. I blush, ducking my head. Because I should've been ready to shoot and I should've kept myself hidden when there's a possible threat. No doubt he'll fuss at me later.

Roman pats my hand, releasing his hold and sitting back. He offers a polite, "We do appreciate what you're doing for us. It may take a while to sink in but it's clear you have something amazing here. Thank you all."

I reassure him that he and his group are more than welcome here. In fact, we'll probably move them into the new houses in the extension as soon as they're cleaned. That way they can spread out a little while staying together still.

The meeting is over after that so I walk Roman back to the house. He's still tense, cautious, but he's looking around more hopeful now. I press my hand to his arm, hoping to offer comfort. He smiles down at me, his eyes grateful.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos💐💐💐  
> I'm not ignoring this story, it's just when a story builds up in my head I have to get it out before I can come back. And I already see where this one is going a few months in the timeline from here. So hopefully y'all enjoy the chaos to come😊💐💐💐

Chapter 20

According to Daryl, my lack of self preservation requires a punishment. I wasn't sure what he would do because as far as I know, husbands don't punish their wives. But he dragged me off, telling Carol to mind the kids for the evening.

On the plus side, it was amazing. On the down side, I'm covered in various hickeys and bites and I can't stop blushing. Merle cackles like crazy at breakfast. Probably more because I kept squirming in my seat than anything.

I told them I'm going to visit Romans group today. The kids are bored, wanting to play. So Carol agrees to watch them. Except for Lenore. She may be seven months but she is still breastfeeding so I tend to carry her with me wherever I go.

I get her settled in the carrier on my chest. Daryl pulls me in for a bruising kiss, squeezing my still sore bottom as he does. Then he steps back, smacking my but and telling me with a grin to have fun. I leave the house, my cheeks still far too red.

Roman answers the door, blocking the room beyond for a second. Then he smiles, relaxing and stepping aside. I follow, smiling at the others clustered around the room. 

It's a bit awkward at first. We're all relatively strangers to each other. It doesn't help that I hiss when I sit down which gains startled looks from the group. I shift a bit to get comfortable, laughing nervously and telling them I fell on the stairs. I can't exactly admit why I'm really sore. 

Roman sits beside me, cooing softly to Lenore as she looks around. Several others give her awed looks as well. It must've been a while since they saw a little baby.

I unhook the carrier, passing her to Roman for a moment so I can take the carrier off. He looks wide eyed at her, giving a delighted chuckle that she mimics. He bounces her slowly as if he's not used to such a thing. But he also doesn't hold her like he's totally inexperienced.

I lean over his arm, blowing a raspberry on her cheek. She shrieks in laughter. He looks over amused, eyes sparkling happily.

I shrug, "Her cheeks and chin are ticklish."

He lifts her up, leaning forward hesitantly. She grins, slapping her hands again at his arms. He smiles, lunging forward to blow a raspberry on her other cheek. She shrieks in delight. He laughs loudly, repeating the action.

It's amusing to watch. He does often glance at me, probably to see if it's still okay. And he's careful with her. She loves the attention too.

I glance around, noticing a few longing looks. So I wait a few more minutes before taking her back. Then I hold her towards a woman next to me. 

She blinks surprised brown eyes at me. The she hurriedly pushes her long brown hair back over her shoulder. Her arms are stick thin from starvation but her face is so hopeful as she looks down at Lenore.

With nothing else to think of I start talking about my kids. Every mother has a million stories of their children, after all. And that's one topic people usually like to discuss. I do keep an eye out for anyone showing distress. But thankfully they seem to be handling it alright.

I tell them about Emmett and how he likes to mimic his daddy. I tell them about the little leather vest he wears everyday with Angel wings on the back because Daddy and uncle Merle wear one. I even tell them about his crossbow toy that he insists on carrying around.

Lenore gets fussy, only because she's hungry. So I take her back, smiling a thanks at the nervous woman that passes her over. She does have the loveliest shade of green eyes, beautiful with her pale auburn hair. But she's skittish and jumpy, quickly curling back against the side of the black man next to her.

I shift my shirt up, tucking her against my breast. She latches easily, greedily suckling. Roman reaches over, lifting the edge of my shirt from where it lays against her cheek. 

I blush, knowing immediately what he's looking at. Daryl left bite marks and hickeys all over my chest and back. He even bit my thighs.

"It's not," I start only to try again, "It's okay. My husband, he just... It's not walker bites."

He hums unhappily. I'm quick to reassure him, "It's not bad or anything. He was just proving a point. He doesn't usually leave marks or anything."

"What point?" He asks, looking closer at the hickeys along my neck and shoulder.

I blush brightly, my cheeks burning in embarrassment as I answer, "That next time I keep my finger on the trigger and don't stand out in the open like an idiot."

I try to laugh, more nervous chuckle than anything. He doesnt laugh. If anything he looks away pained. I hurry to reasure him, "Its fine. I wouldve told him when we got home anyways. And I'm not hurt. It's just silly marks."

He offers back a halfhearted smile. The lady next to me, the brunette that held Lenore first, asks if I only have the two. I laugh, happily telling them about Imogene, Kendall, Sarah and Micah.

I tell them how Imogene and Kendall are each almost two. I tell them how we're struggling to potty train the both of them. They're actually doing well during the day. It's mostly that neither wants to poo in the potty.

I tell them about Sarah and how she loves to have her hair braided. She loves stories with warriors and knights, fairytales mostly. I half think she likes braids because she wants to pretend to be a warrior herself.

Then I tell them about Micah. He's mature and far too responsible. I tell them how he wants to follow me to work every time I go somewhere. He's always quick to volunteer to help anyone.

Roman takes a moment to introduce his group to me. The brunette woman's name is Jacquelyn, she prefers Jace. The auburn haired woman's name is Nikki. 

Lenore fusses halfway through introductions. I hurry to switch sides, doing my best not to flash myself at them. They are kind enough to pointedly look away while I do.

We stay until lunch is called over the radios. They're still not comfortable going out so I leave alone with Lenore securely sleeping in her carrier. Beth and Kiara show up as I'm heading down the walkway. They have a shopping cart with a still steaming large crockpot inside, soup by the smell of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charlie is embarrassed but you can see how they'll see it. There gonna be a bit of drama from this so stay tuned.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Lunch is a thick vegetable soup with warm rolls. I grab a bowl from the food truck and hurry to find a seat. Daryl has one saved beside him but the kids aren't there. I head over anyways.

"Where's the munchkins?" I ask, leaning against his side.

He wraps an arm around me, grinning smugly, "Carols keepin em home today. They was actin up."

I put my bowl down, brushing my fingers through his hair as I ask, "What were they doin?"

He chuckles out, "Kendall and Imogene stripped naked an kept running from her. Sophia ran off with Carl and that other boy. I think they're with Michonne over there."

He waves somewhere off to the left, closer to the food truck. I glance around a moment, barely spotting them laughing together with Michonne watching over them amused. She glances up, catching my eye and nodding that they're alright. I smile a thanks at her and turn back to Daryl.

He squeezes me against his side to gain my attention. Then he tells me, "Micah threw a fit. Don't know what's wrong with em but he's awfully upset about somethin."

I frown worriedly. Daryl tugs me to join him but I tell him I want to head home to check on the kids. He sighs in a very put upon way. But as I step back he moves to follow me, waving a goodbye to the others.

I notice Roman looking out from the door as we pass. I wave, smiling politely. He smiles back but still gazes around worriedly.

"Do we still have the movie stuff put up?" I ask Daryl.

He shrugs, "Somewhere, yeah. Why?"

"Might be nice to have a movie night," I suggest.

He smiles, pulling me close so I walk pressed to his side. He agrees, "Me an Merle will go lookin for it, okay?"

I nod happily, pressing a kiss to his jaw. He grin, swooping down to take a more demanding kiss. Lenore fusses, perhaps feeling slightly squashed. He pressed a gentle kiss to her head then pulls me along home.

Our house is a mess of screaming kids. Carol sits angrily on the couch, eyes red from frustration. Daryl whistles shrill, stopping all noise. Then he shouts for them to gets down here and line up.

A stampede of little feet hurry to obey. Imogene and Kendall are naked like he said but somehow they got covered in what I really hope is mud. Going by how Micah wrinkles his nose and steps away from them I doubt it.

"Carol can you go start the shower in my bathroom while I grab the girls?" I ask quickly.

Both ready themselves like they're going to run but a snap from Daryls fingers freezes them cold. Carol goes ahead of us. I take the cleanest hand of each and lead them through to the bathroom.

The water is still cold but both girls go under the spray. Carol sighs, "I'll go clean up the rest of it."

I offer a hurried thanks as I pull the shower head down and spray them off. Both squeal and shout from the slightly cold water. But a warning gets them to stay in the shower stall at least. 

Once I get them rinsed off I use shampoo and soap to scrub the clean. Then another rinse before shutting off the water. Both get wrapped in a towel and lead back out of the room and upstairs to theirs.

Daryl sits on the couch with Micah in the corner and Emmett at his feet. He's frowning at Micahs back while Micah stands still, small shoulders shaking. I throw a questioning look at him but he shrugs.

I take the girls upstairs to get dressed. They try to wiggle free but I warn them that I'll tell Daddy if they don't behave. Of course that works.

I put them to bed with a warning for them to not get up. Then I head back downstairs. Emmett goes up to bed once Daryl nudges him with his boot. He stomps up the stairs with a frown, clutching his crossbow tightly.

I pass Lenore to Daryl. He huffs amused, smiling proudly at his baby girl. I go pull Micah away from the wall, taking him outside to the backyard. We sit on the grass next to the chicken coops and I wait patiently beside him.

He offers an apology but I stay quiet. I don't want him to apologize, I want to know what's wrong. So I keep silent, staying beside him.

He leans against my side so I move my arm over his shoulder. He'll tell me when he's ready. I just wish he would be ready. Because whatever is wrong is an ongoing issue.

"Are we asking too much of you?" I can't help but ask.

He shakes his head, sniffling quietly. I ask, "Then what's wrong?"

He sniffles out an answer, "I don't wanna go to school no more."

"Why?" I ask worriedly, "Is something happening at school?"

He shakes his head, hiding his face against my side. I sigh, promising him, "We'll, I guess I can try to teach you boogers myself. At least for a while."

He leaps up to hug my neck, grateful thanks repeating endlessly. I hold him a while before ushering him off to bed. Daryl warns that I'm getting soft, letting him have his way like that. But I know something is wrong. 

Daryl pulls me into the bedroom, grinning smugly. I laugh, slapping his arm playfully. But it's okay, we're okay. I'll talk to Silas later about Micah. Maybe he can find out what's wrong. But I'll do that later. Because Daryl is impatient to hold me now.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Movie night turned out to be just the thing we needed. Merle and CB set up two big white screens, one by the fence just past the pavilion. The other at the border near the extension. Both are rigged up to play the same movie, a family comedy.

We popped popcorn and passed out boxes of snack candy and sodas. Everyone brought blankets to sit out on the grass. There's even a pot of hot chocolate and a few campfires set up for light and for those who want to toast marshmallows.

It takes me and Roman both to get his group out on the grass. None of them even wanted to leave the house. And I worry briefly if the movie will upset any of them.

They're still a nervous bunch. Every loud noise makes them flinch. They keep clustered together. I keep talking, coaxing them further each step. I hope this helps them relax some. 

We pile the blankets and pillows in a section just off of center. They all pile on, moving together while rarely breaking contact with others. Roman and Jace try to pull me into the pile but I smile and point out my kids waiting nearby.

Daryl glares through most of the movie. I keep warning him to be polite but he shakes his head, saying, "Can't believe fucking cannibals are out there. As if we don't have enough to worry about."

"At least we know now," I offer gently, not wanting the kids to listen in.

He takes the hint, smiling and nipping at my neck and shoulder. I push him away with a laugh. He lumbers off, coming back a few minutes later with a beer in hand.

He only lasts ten more minutes of the movie before he gets too antsy. Then he takes Lenore from me, passing her off to Carol who grins back mischeviously. Then he tugs me up, hurrying me away.

We don't go far. Mostly because it's too much of a hassle to go all the way home. Instead he drags me off into the dark. We slip between two RVs, stumbling slightly when the ground changes to pavement.

He snorts a laugh, slamming me hard against the RV. I complain, holding up my elbow pitifully. He chuckles, pressing a kiss to my elbow. Then he's kissing me breathless.

He pulls my top down, laughing drunkenly at all the marks only barely visible in the dark. I snort amused at his behavior. I swear he can act like an animal at times, marking territory.

He kisses and bites, careful not to break the skin but insistent on leaving a claim. I press kiss after kiss to his neck and shoulder. He yanks hard on my pants, nearly making me fall. They end up tangled around my ankles.

He spins me around. I trip, my pants tangling my feet. But he catches me, shoving me against the wall.

I can't help but breathlessly ask, "Are you drunk?"

He laughs a no, biting my shoulder. I struggle to keep quiet because we are out in the open. He doesn't even care. His hands, his mouth, are everywhere. He surrounds me, covering me, inside me.

It harsh, almost violent thrusts. It's thick and hard and wonderful. He lifts my leg, twisting me sideways in order to thrust deeper. All I can do is hold on as he pounds into me.

We finish messily. He jokes about leaving me a mess and that Merle would love another turn. I shove him playfully, knowing he's just teasing. And he does have a rag to help clean me up. Then we right our clothes and slip back to the movie crowd.

Merle leans over, tauntingly whispering, "I smell something good an messy."

Daryl shoves him away, both laughing amused. Carol shakes her head fondly, passing Lenore back to me. We missed most of the movie but we get to see the end. And the kids eagerly tell us all about what we missed. 

When the movie is over, I offer to walk back with Romans group. 

Daryl pulls me back, telling me, "Quit hovering over them, Darlin. They aint babies."

Roman assures me, "We'll manage just fine but thank you all the same."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm setting them up for an epic misunderstanding but there's a reason, people judge by appearances and rarely look further once they've decided they know what kind of person you are. 
> 
> Also, yes someone at school is hurting Micah and it's going to get out for two reasons. First is, with this many people there is bound to be a pervert or psycho somewhere in the bunch. And second, I need everyone to know the laws are serious. The new people need to know the laws are serious so they'll feel safe. It's a bad thing but a real life thing so that's why it's there. Also, with so many kids, the person hurting him thinks no one will notice or care. Making an example of one will stop any others.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Silas promised to look into it. But after a week I still haven't heard anything. I tried to be patient but it's bothered me. It just feels like a danger is hovering over us and no one is doing anything.

I try to talk with Micah but he still won't say anything. So I decided to try talking to Sarah and Emmett. After all, they're at school with Micah so they may have noticed something even if the don't realize it.

For Sarah, I sit down with her in the grass at the park. The boys are charging around the fort while Imogene and Kendall chase each other around the little toddler climb and slide. She sits patiently in my lap while I brush and braid her hair.

I already have two braids moving from her temple back along her to the back of her head. I stop the braids with a tiny rubber band to hold it in place. Then I move to make a faux mokawk braid from her forehead back to where it can meet the other two. Then I pin all three with a large hair clip and let the rest hang in loose curls.

I tried to question her but it's difficult to know what to ask. So instead I try to lead her through a day at school to get an idea of how it normally goes. Unfortunately I don't learn anything new from her.

She laughs delighted at the hair do. Already she's bouncing in place, wanting desperately to go show everyone she can. So I gather the kids together to go visit Romans group as they'll listen attentively to all of the kids excitement.

Roman smiles brightly when he answers the door. He waves us in, letting the kids rush forward excitedly. Sarah immediately tells everyone loudly about her hairstyle. They offer up genuine compliments that have her glowing.

I grip Romans arm, asking softly, "Could I get your help with something?"

He leads me into the kitchen, asking quietly so his voice doesn't carry, "How can I help you?"

I do my best to explain it all. Admitting it's mostly suspicion and Micah won't actually tell me anything makes me feel foolish. Roman wraps an arm around my shoulder, holding me close as I sniffle and cry in frustration. 

He whispers softly that he'll look into it and help me the best he can. As he used to be a police captain I'm hoping that he'll actually be able to help me. I apologize for crying on him but he just shrugs it off as no issue. We go back to the group to find the kids have taken over. 

Imogene is being cooed over by a woman in her fifties named Debbie. Debbie is all long limbs and knobby bones that were probably there before the end came. Her black hair has a few grey strands scattered throughout.

Kendall is climbing on the shoulders of a Hispanic man named, Carlos. He's short but he looks like he was once muscular. He's also one of the cops that worked for Roman before the end.

Emmett is showing how his crossbow works to the two fifteen year old boys. Both kids, Aaron and Kyle, exclaim excitedly over the cool weapon. Emmett proudly tells him how his daddy has a real one that's even better. Micah somehow squashed himself between Jace and another young woman. 

Roman pulls me to settle on the floor of cushions and pillows that they seem to use as a nest. Lenore gets fussy in the carrier on my back but Roman helps me get her out. I tuck her in to feed, careful not to flash anyone.

Roman stays close, smiling down at her greedily eating. I tease him, "Keep staring and I'll think you have a crush."

He blushes, "I always wanted a daughter."

"You didn't have kids?" I ask hesitantly, worried I'll upset him.

He smiles back gently, "I focused on work and never married. I always wanted to have a family but life just got away from me."

I smile apologetically, "We'll, you don't have to work now so you're free to meet someone if you haven't already."

He laughs, drawing attention from the others. Several smile, pleased that he's happy. I can understand that because he worries so much for his group. He's a good man, a good leader. And I hope to have him join the council.

I'm not sure if it will work or not. We've already said we want the council to be voted on but I still hope he can join. At the very least I want him to work with Silas and Jonsie as a peacekeeper. But I haven't mentioned it to him yet.

He nudges his shoulder against mine, careful of Lenore. I smile, blushing as I ask, "I also wanted to ask if you would work as a peacekeeper with Silas and Jonsie. Carlos may want to as well. We have a lot of people in our community and I think having actual officers as our peacekeepers would really help put minds at ease."

He grins, "I would be happy to help however I'm needed."

We stay most of the day, relaxing amongst his group. They still require multiple small meals a day to build their stomachs back up. And amazingly enough they work really well and balanced for such a large group. It's probably because Roman is such a good leader. 


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Roman came back to me the next day. He, Carlos, and Jace came slowly up the road. All three look around nervously at everyone but at least they're not staying hidden in the house anymore.

I was in the park again with the kids running around. They've had too much energy for me to keep them home. Daryl keeps telling me to send them back to the schoolhouse but I just don't feel comfortable doing so.

Carl, Chase, and Judith joined us as well. The older kids, lead by Sophia, are hiding in the fort and laughing loudly about whatever they're talking about. Imogene and Lenore are swinging excitedly in the plastic toddler swings while Kendall and Judith run around squealing as Emmett and Sarah chase them.

Roman calls out a greeting, waving as they approach. I smile back, waving them over. Jace takes my place pushing the two girls while Carlos laughingly settles down by the others near a set of toy cars. Of course the kids rush to play with the adult willing to sit with them. 

Carlos flips Sarah over his shoulder from behind his back and catches her to roll off of his lap. Micah jumps forward to throw grass at him in retaliation. Carlos grabs Micah, raising him up and tickling his belly. Micah wiggled and kicks but laughs delighted.

Emmett raises his crossbow, firing the padded arrow at Carlos's leg. And suddenly I'm hit with a memory. An embarrassing lecture about him being too wild. A warning that he will be removed from the class if he continues firing the crossbow. But it's only ever at one person.

I grip Romans arm, probably tighter than I should. He glances down startled but leans closer when I motion him to. He will understand and hopefully find out if my suspicions are true.

I press closer, not wanting the kids to overhear as I explain, "Thomas, their teacher, said Emmett kept shooting him with the crossbow. He never shot anyone else, just Thomas. And he did it often enough that Rose and Ginger both pulled him out of the room several times."

He frowns, glancing over at Carlos releasing Micah to lunge playfully at Emmett who jumps back with a shriek. Kendall and Judith both jump at him. Well, Kendall jumped at him, Judith mostly fell against him laughing. Sarah gave a battle cry while leaping on his back.

Roman pats my arm, whispering back, "I'll check it out as soon as I can. It may be nothing but you may be right. Just don't stir up a mob yet, alright?"

I snort, totally unamused, "I know exactly what mob mentality can do so don't worry. But it needs to be handled soon because I don't want my kids or any others getting hurt."

He nods, rubbing my back soothingly. I lean against him, grateful for the comfort. At least until Emmett slams into his legs with an angry growl of, "My momma!"

Roman laughs but let's go and steps back. He even congratulated Emmett on protecting his family so well. I grin at them both, pleased when Emmett relaxes his glare and accepts the compliment proudly.

"You'd be a good dad," I blurt out.

My cheeks burn. I can't believe I just said that. No doubt he's hurt that I've reminded him yet again that he doesn't have kids. I stutter out an apology but he waves it off, accepting the compliment for what it was meant. At least he didn't get offended by me being so blunt.

"Darlin!" Daryl' s voice calls.

I glance around, spotting him walking over from the animal pens. There's blood on his hands and clothes again that makes me sigh. Blood is such a hassle to get out of clothes. But it also means we have fresh meat tonight.

"What's for supper?" I call back, curious despite the mess.

He grins smugly, "Barbeque! Butchered two pigs and Koda's already carried em off to Robert. He and Silas and Gus built a smoker so were getting barbeque tonight."

I clap my hands, exclaiming proudly. Everyone will be excited for something different. And the leftover meat can easily be used for sandwiches later. I walk over to meet him at the sidewalk, giving him a kiss. 

Although I do squeal when he rubs still bloody hands over my cheeks. He leans back laughing while I scrub at my face, hopeful there's no blood on it. 

Emmett runs over to proudly tell Daryl how he shot Carlos for catching Micah and that he told Roman I'm his momma. Daryl frowns over at both men before telling Emmett well done. I roll my eyes in amusement, pressing a kiss to Emmett s cheek and thanking him for being so brave. So long as he doesn't go around attacking people it should be alright.

Daryl insists the kids come home now even though there's still a couple hours until lunch. They dont complain though. And Jace helps me slide Lenore back into her carrier while the others take off like a stampede for the house. Carl and Sophia reach the door first.

"She still hanging around him?" Daryl asks frowning at the house.

"They ain't don nothing!" I tell him, glaring back as if daring him to argue. "They're friends! Friends play together."

He smirks back, "When her belly pops out, you gonna explain to Carol?"

I huff a sigh, walking ahead and answering without looking back, "I have complete trust in those two, just so you know."

Daryl speed walks until he can pass me, smacking my butt loudly as he does. I jump, swatting at him but he's already jogged ahead. I glance around, hoping no one saw that but of course Roman and his peoole are still watching. I wave goodbye as I slip around the greenhouse and up to the front door.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

I can't seem to get it out of my mind. All day it plays over and over in my head. The way Micah slowly grew quieter and quieter. The way Emmett would glare angrily at Thomas. The way both avoided him, moving around him when I dropped them off.

A thousand memories swirl in my head until it all becomes a white noise. I can't think of anything else but now I can't even think of anything at all. My mind stays frozen, empty. 

There's a growing pain in my stomach and a pressure in my chest. It's like something has been growing behind my ribs. Each breath is a struggle against the pressure ready to burst out.

By nightfall I'm moving automatically, yet not knowing how I accomplished any of my usual tasks. Daryl even complains that I'm quiet, withdrawn. And I can't explain it to him because all the words are lost in the hazy storm inside my mind.

I fell the ghost of fingers digging into my hips. The shadow of pain low in my belly. And something like shame that churns my stomach, turning the small amount of supper I ate into something sour.

I get out of bed, giving up on sleep long after Daryl began to snore. I'm careful to keep quiet because I don't want to wake the house. But I just can't settle anywhere.

I try sitting in the living room but my legs tremble with the need to move. I go to the kitchen but after staring blindly at the room I give that up too. I even slip outside, only out the front door. That eases the pressure some.

I don't think, I can't. But I walk calmly to the RV. Perhaps I'll be able to settle there. Only the next thing I know I'm sliding a gun into the back of my jeans and a knife into my boot. Maybe I'll take a walk, check the parameter. 

Only that thought isn't a solid one either. The only solid thought is I need to keep moving. Everything else is white noise roaring deafeningly in my head.

The kitchen door is unlocked. Of course it is because no one locks there doors here. But this isn't my kitchen. This isn't my house.

I recognize the kitchen as I leave it behind. I know these cabinets hold various snack packs for the kids to have while in lessons. I know my kids particularly like the juice pouches here. That's why I put them in the weekly delivery needs for the schoolhouse.

There is a staircase, narrow and steep, in the back corner of the kitchen behind where the table is. It leads upstairs, next to the bedrooms on the right side of the house. I'm halfway up the stairs before the understanding of where they lead reaches me.

It's dark in here but I'm careful and slow. I don't want to make noise and wake anyone. I'm sure of that. And the dark doesn't frighten me. The ghost of fingers on my hips and pain low in my belly both flare up.

The bedroom door is similar to the others. Rose has the master suite, Thomas has the second bedroom by the back stairs and the first bedroom holds Kiara for now. No one stays in it long though.

I twist the knob, pushing gently at the door. It barely makes a whisper over the thick carpet. I slip inside, closing it behind me. The pressure under my ribs pulses painfully. 

Only the barest amount of light comes through the window. In fact, it isn't much brighter here than in the hall. But I hear the soft snores. I see the reflection of glasses on the bedside table. 

If asked later I won't be able to tell anyone what I did. I won't be able to explain how or when the knife made it into my hand. I won't be able to explain what the wetness on my hands is. I won't be able to tell you how the red of his hair isn't the only red on the bed anymore.

I'm halfway across the street and slipping past our greenhouse when I notice my hands shaking. I'm inside at the sink, washing the knife in my hands even as it's already clean. I'm in my bedroom, removing my clothes and crawling naked into bed.

I don't remember how I got around. The events get all jumbled in my head until they're all out of order. And the white noise is still going strong, drowning out everything else.

But the pain in my stomach is gone. The pressure behind my ribs lessens to nothing. The need to move, the anxiety that I need to be somewhere, do something, is gone.

Daryl rolls towards me. His arm draping over my waist to pull me back against him. His breath warm against my shoulder.

I relax, letting myself drift off to sleep. The tension in my back relaxes. The white noise softens to a comforting hum. And the memories of the night drift away into the fog that held me under all night.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

We wake to urgent pounding at the door. Merle curses upstairs but Daryl is already climbing free of the bed, tugging on pants as he goes to answer it. I slip free, pulling on Daryls shirt to cover myself.

Silas pushes his way in, demanding before he even looks around, "I wanna know which of you did it cause I ain't stupid and I know it was you!"

Daryl and I both blink dumbly back which seems to piss him off. His face turns red as he yells, "Thomas! The teacher that had naked Polaroids of your boy! Which of you killed him?"

"What?!" I shout back, suddenly needing to see my kids, to be sure they're okay.

Merle comes grumbling down the steps, glaring confused before the words sink in. The moment they do he freezes and growls out threateningly, "What... The Fuck!... did you just say?"

Silas looks from one to the next and back again. He looks more frustrated than angry now, "It had to be one of you! Y'all complained that ya thought someone was messing with the boy at school and now Thomas is dead. Not just dead but turned. Kiara heard a noise in his room, went to check. She screamed which woke Rose. He got them both cause one of y'all killed him!"

"You said pictures," Daryl snarls past gritted teeth. His body tense, poised to strike.

Silas frowns, again looking from one to the next. He asks incredulously, "Y'all wanted me to look into it and I did but there wasn't proof and the boy wasn't talking. Now Thomas is dead and there's pictures in a book under his pillow, pictures of Micah naked. Rose and Kiara are dead cause whichever of you fuckers killed him, you didn't get his brain. Y'all saying you didn't know?"

Merle roars, slamming his fist into the wall and tearing out a chunk of drywall. Daryl grabs his head, snarling and growling before turning to punch the wall behind himself repeatedly. Merle does the same. Both leaving blood splattered holes in the wall where their fists break through. 

Silas looks at me, eyeing me curiously. The white noise in my head is too loud. I can't think, can't feel , can't talk.

I blink up at the ceiling, unsure how I got here. It's also brighter, perhaps nearly noon. Somehow I'm in the bedroom. And I think for a moment that it was a dream.

Daryl sits beside me, leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. He's slumped forward looking far too much like defeat. It makes worry twist in my gut.

"Daryl," I whisper, almost afraid to disturb him.

He looks over with shamefully red eyes, tear tracks still on his cheeks. His voice is thick, choking, "You knew somethin was wrong an I wouldn't listen. Thought he jus didn't wanna go ta school."

I crawl up clumsily, struggling to reach him. He helps, pulling me close and burying his face against my neck. We cling to each other, both of us crying.

A knock on the door sounds. Daryl grumbles against my shoulder, rubbing angrily at his face. I would rather ignore it but he moves me aside, careful not to be too rough, and goes to answer the door.

Roman slips inside much to Daryls ire. He looks between us, saying somewhat sternly, "I would like to ask Charlie a few questions now if you wouldn't mind."

Daryl glares angrily, huffing and shoving his way out the door, slamming it loudly behind himself. I flinch at the loud noise, not accustomed to him being so rough. But I know he's hurting right now.

Roman shuffles forward, looking me over carefully. There's a question in his eyes that I don't quite catch but I shuffle to the end of the bed, careful not to flash him as I move. He sits hesitantly on the edge of the bed next to me, gaze moving carefully around the room.

"What happened?" I ask, my mind still full of static.

He glances over, answering gently, "You went into shock, became catatonic yesterday morning when Silas came over. You've been resting ever since. Lisa and Hershel both said to let you rest."

I blink confused. Yesterday? I've been out of it since yesterday? "My kids?"

"They're all safe and cared for," he smiles gently, reassuring me. "Jace and April, you remember them, both came over to help watch them. They've kept the kids well looked after. And Lisa checked Micah. She doesn't think Thomas did more than take pictures."

I flinch as if slapped. He hurries to reassure me that Micah will be alright but I won't believe it until I hold him again. Roman gives a sad smile as if he knows what I'm thinking. 

My chest aches, something that I'm only now noticing it's been doing since I woke up. I press lightly only to hiss in discomfort. My breasts are full of milk. 

I look around for my breast pump. I usually don't use it so we've kept it up in the nets hanging from the ceiling. But someone must've used it while I've been out because the bag is on the bedside table and while my breasts are full they would've leaked already if someone hadn't pumped. It's weird to think someone pumped my milk while I was out and I don't even remember.

I grab the bag, blushing as I tell Roman that I need to pump. He smiles, turning his head away politely. The pump is a small manual one with a soft silicon cup.

The pressure eases as I pump. Roman clears his throat loudly, his eyes flicking between the pump and my face before looking around nervously. He must be embarrassed so I apologize again but he waves it off with a gentle smile.

After a moment of silence he starts asking questions. Who did I tell? Who do I think did it? Did I notice anyone acting strange?

I don't really have any answers. I only told Roman my suspicion but it's not like others couldn't figure it out if they wanted. I try to think of who may have done it but my mind just fills with a roaring static that overwhelms everything else. And no ones acting strange that I've noticed but I've also not been able to see others to notice.

He thanks me politely, reassuring me that it's alright that I can't answer. The council tried Thomas even though he's dead and all agreed a death sentence was the only option. No one wanted to risk any other child by letting him go.

The problem, though, is whoever killed him caused the death of two others. His throat was slit clear down to the bone which suggests the person was at least averagely strong. But they didn't take out the brain which everyone should've known to do. So the peacekeepers are confused about who to look at as the killer.

Roman tells me all this, keeping his voice calm and level. He mentions that Silas's assumption that it was one of us made sense because there were a few blooddrops in the street between the two houses. But the killing itself raised questions because we are all experienced with the cursed enough to know to take out the brain.

I switch bottles on the end of the pump. The first bottle is nearly full and I've only finished one breast so I put another bottle on the pump and switch sides. Roman takes the mostly full one from me, twisting a top on it so it won't spill.

This time he stays quiet as I pump. The only sound is the pump being squeezed and the milk coming out. It should be awkward but somehow it isn't. He watches quietly, curiously but doesnt speak or ask questions. 

The white noise in my head lessens. It's no more than a comforting hum chasing away all thoughts. I pass the finished bottle to him and he twists a top on it, careful not to spill any. He even takes the pump, wiping it clean with the soap wipes we have in the bag.

I whisper to him, "I want my kids. I don't think I'll feel well until I see that they're alright."

He agrees, going to the door and slipping out with a soft goodbye. Barely a moment later the door crashes open as the kids stampede inside. Micah scrambles up on the bed, lunging for me first. The others are close behind.

I cling to Micah first, looking him over as if I'll see some visible sign of injuries. Emmett and Imogene crawl over me to struggle into my lap too. Sarah whines at my shoulder for attention until Daryl pulls her back. But at least they're all here and safe.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

It's wierd, I feel like I should remember something but I can't think of what it should be. Anytime I try to sit and think, the static in my head gets louder. So I stop trying to think and instead focus on what's happening around me.

The kids spend two days clinging to me. Cuddling on the bed or couch is fine but now they follow me to the bathroom and want to take showers with me. Any attempt to refuse is met with wailing cries as if I've abandoned them. So I let them follow me even if it's awkward.

Daryl stays at home those two days. He's quiet, withdrawn actually. So after the kids are asleep, in our bed of course, I pull him into the RV to cuddle with me. After all, it's still our little getaway even if it's only in the front drive. 

In the darkness, with no one else to witness, he admits that he blames himself. He remembers his father would hurt him and Merle, anyway he could. And while the man himself wasn't attracted to kids, he had no problem selling them to those that were.

Daryl says that Merle had it worse and would even try to stop their dad from selling Daryl, often taking his place if he could. It's why he has such a bad reaction when people accuse them of hurting kids or raping or touching each other.

Daryl says when Silas mentioned pictures he snapped. All he could see was when he was small, forced out of his clothes by a man reeking of whiskey and cigars, while a camera flashed. He remembered the shame he felt and how it overwhelmed him that he let the same thing happen to his son.

I press kiss after kiss to his face, holding him close as he shakes and cries. We stay there until morning when the kids shouting wakes us. They woke alone and when we didn't answer right away they became hysterical. So we spend a good hour just calming them down.

Merle is withdrawn as well, barely a ghost of himself. He's always been loud and present and to see him so silent is heartwrenching. Carol says he leaves every night but she doesn't know where he goes. Even Daryl can't reach him.

When night falls and I hear the soft click of the door, I slip away too. He's already halfway down the road, past the goat pens and leaving the horse pens behind. I run to catch up, knowing that he can hear me running behind him.

He doesn't say a word, just works on the water containers at the back gate. He has pipes and plastic that he's been steadily rigging up along the outside of the wall to also collect water. I offer to help but he refuses. So I lean against his back, hugging him while he works.

He holds out longer than I expected. His back that was as tense as a drawn bow string has finally eased up after ten minutes of working. And the completed umbrella thing is attached to the wall, only waiting to be attached to a barrel.

He turns, lifting me up and shoving me against the wall. It knocks the breath out of me and my head and shoulders sting from where they hit the bricks. But his body is trembling and I know he didn't mean to hurt me.

My legs and arms automatically wrap around him, hold him. I stroke his head, neck, and shoulders, whispering reassurances. My shirt is wet from silent tears. 

He doesn't speak, perhaps the words won't come. Instead he clings, shaking almost violently in my arms. His legs give out and we slide down the wall, his arms scraping against the bricks. Still he doesn't make a sound. Although I can feel the gasping breaths puffing out against my neck.

I don't know how long we stay like that. I know that after a while, his breathing slows and somehow he falls asleep. I know my shirt is already soaked from him crying. 

He wakes a little before sunrise, when the sky is that warm purple of predawn. He sniffs, rubbing his face against my neck, then my chest. He rubs my back, my arms, my sides. Then he presses open mouthed kisses to my neck.

I almost shrug him off. But it's not like he and I never had sex. And he needs me now. For some reason, he needs this. Daryl has shied away from my touch but Merle seems to crave it so I allow it. After all, I love him and I want him to be okay.

There's something odd about his touches. He's gentle, whispering questions of 'is this alright' over and over. I stop him after a while. Not because I dont want him but I dont think this is healthy. Instead I pet him and hold him and reassure him that we'll be alright. I tell him I love him, over and over again. Anything to help him.

Getting him home isn't easy. He shuffles hesitantly behind me like a skittish horse ready to bolt. But thankfully we get inside before the kids wake up. 

I run him a bath. The water is only a little warm but it's enough to help. And I make coffee because they always drink coffee in the mornings.

I sing the wanderers lullibye that they all like. He stays still in the water, looking lost until I sing. Then he looks at me like he's only now seeing me. 

I wash him with a soap and cloth, keeping my movements careful. He relaxes more and more. By the time we're done, he even tries to smile. Although it's no where near his usual smile.

Carol frowns but doesnt ask. I put Merle in his own bed with the cup of coffee next to him. He holds my hand, asking for the song again. So I sit next to him and sing until he falls asleep. Only then do I slip away.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

A month flies by in a flash. Our lives settle back in a rhythm and both Merle and Daryl are back to their normal selves. Oddly enough, nearly everyone has moved on from the deaths although it's still the hottest topic of speculative gossip.

Roman comes by every few days to talk. He's settling in well but his group is still nervous. They want to keep the house they're in so we decide to wait until later to worry about moving them. No one wants to stress them when they're already still so shaken.

I do try to include them more around the community. I take them on a wagon ride, pulled by Hershel, to see around. They stay as skittish as cornered rabbits the whole time. But at least they're slowly getting braver. And a few like the train cars as we passed.

I went back on guard duty after a week. The kids still insist on joining me although Roman does as well now. Kendall and Imogene have both taken a shine to him so he will often read them stories or play toys with them. 

He also sometimes stares when I feed Lenore but I haven't complained because I don't think he means anything by it. He admits he finds it fascinating. He says he thinks it's amazing what a woman's body can do. It kinda makes me feel nice to hear it, like I'm stronger or something. 

Sophia and Carl are both having a growth spurt. Both have shot up several inches. They're still as thick as thieves. Something that Carol only sighs tiredly about whenever she's reminded. 

Micah is still quiet but he's not as tense as he was. If anything, he's slowly relaxing back into himself. It reminds me of Merle and Daryl to be honest.

Guard duty comes again and Roman meets us at the border. Both youngest girls leap happily at him and he tosses them up a few times each to their immense laughter. He always looks so proud that he made them laugh, it's sweet really.

We get settled. Micah insists on following the older kids as they walk off a few containers over with a blanket to sit down with more privacy. Sarah insists on having her hair braided so I brush out her curls, always careful not to pull too hard.

The day is warm without being hot. The sky is bright blue with a host of white puffy clouds. Everything is right with the world. 

I must've dozed in my chair because Emmett crawling up to sit beside me startles me awake. Roman sits at the foot of my lawn chair, smiling kindly as I yawn awake. He assures me that nothing has changed since I dozed off.

Our relief comes in time for us to take a late lunch. Roman helps me get the kids down and together we walk back to the pavilion. Roman even stays with us for lunch. I can't help but be proud of that because I know he's still not comfortable with crowds.

Afterwards we head back home for an afternoon nap that lasts a full hour. Then we head over to Romans with a box of supplies to make cookies. We end up making a terrible mess in the kitchen but it gets his group relaxed and laughing which is good.

We don't leave until supper time. This time, Carlos and Jace both follow Roman out to the pavilion. I keep them close, knowing they're more comfortable with me and the kids than anyone. And we take the back side of a table on the end so there won't be people hovering behind them. 

Carlos and Roman talk about work, some of the good times they remember. They heard about our memorial wall and asked if they could do something similar which I agree to. Although since they're still afraid to leave the house they may not want to put the mural up on the border. 

Kendall insists on sitting in Romans lap to eat her supper. I offer to take her but he waves me away, assuring me that he doesn't mind. And he does well with her.

Daryl shows up, shooting an unhappy frown at the three as if he can't place them. I reintroduce them in case he's forgotten their names. He nods, pulling Kendall from Roman and setting her down. Then he orders everyone home.

When i ask what was wrong he tries to shrug me away. Eventually he admits that he worries about Roman hanging around so much. What if he hurts the kids? 

I guess Daryl can't help being worried. I do my best to help sooth away the fears but it isn't easy. At least I get him to admit that snatching Kendall away as he did was impolite.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

May comes to an end with a strong heat wave. Thankfully we still get rain every few days and the water barrels and towers are staying full. But as is natural, the kids want to swim so we head out to the pond.

Emmett and Micah are wearing their matching blue swim shorts with shark shadows printed on one side. Sarah has a red one piece with a little red bow at the chest that she just loves. Kendall and Imogene each have bright multicolored bathing suits over a cloth swim diaper to be safe. Even Lenore has a little purple spotted pink bathing suit over her swim diaper.

We actually have a big swimsuit section that was collected last year. Everyone's gotten at least one bathing suit so they can go swimming. Mine is a retro style in a dark navy blue that one of the team's found while searching houses. I instantly fell in love although Daryl had to sew it a bit on the sides because it was too loose at first. Now it fits perfect and is so totally cute.

Neither Merle or Daryl like to swim at the pond. That has more to do with not wanting to show off their scars. They do sometimes come out with us, mostly to watch us play. But both are working on putting up towers in the extension today.

Carol can't come but her kids do, as well as Carl, Chase, and Judith. Sophia wears a black bikini while Abigale and Evelyn wear matching yellow suits. Carl and Chase wear green and black trunks respectively while Judith wears a blue and green suit. All of the kids have on flip flops, sandles, or swim shoes.

It's a good walk. We use the stroller to carry Kendall and Imogene, Sophia pushes it. Carl pulls one wagon with Abigale and Evelyn while Chase pulls the other with Judith and our supplies. We have arm floaties and toddler floats they can sit in and even a baby float with a little pop up umbrella like thing to keep Lenore from getting too much sun.

Roman waves as we pass, asking amused, "Y'all going on vacation or something?"

"We're going swimming!" Sarah calls out proudly.

"The pond we built," I explain, "We use it for swimming. Y'all can come if you want."

He glances back at the house before answering, "I'll see if anyone wants to go."

We get to the pond to see several already there. Ginger has all of her kids splashing around. Lisa's daughter Lyric is swimming further out near a floating pier that someone built last month. Beth is on the pier with several teens lounging or swimming around. Her belly is getting big at five months.

We wave to each, my kids calling excited greetings. I already rubbed them down with sunblock so now it's just a matter of getting the floats on them before letting them loose. Good thing most of them are already inflated.

I catch Micah, passing him a round float that he takes while running to catch up with the older kids. Sarah and Abigale get to the water before I can catch them but both run back for arm floats and a round float. Emmett patiently waits while the little ones shout for attention.

Judith, Kendall, and Imogene I take out one at a time, slipping them into the seated round floats. Then I slip Evelyn in one only because she's not that good at swimming. Lenore goes in the baby float with the little umbrella over it.

It takes a while to get them sorted but by the time we're all in the water, the older three are already over at the pier. I stay close to the shore, keeping the little ones where they can splash next to each other. The pond is dug so it goes gradually down before coming slowly back up. The deepest part is the very center where the pier is but I think it's only seven or so feet there.

Roman shows up with Carlos, Jace, and a family of three; Scott, Brittany, and their eight year old son Hunter. I wave them over assuring them it's safe. And while Hunter looks around eagerly, his parents hover close. They keep clustered together although more and more of Romans group have been coming out.

They stay near me and the little ones. I offer a large round float to Hunter in case he wants to swim out to the pier. He shakes his head, unwilling to go more than arms reach from his parents.

I sit down in the water. It only comes up to my just below my shoulders here. The others settle near me, each staying close to one of my kids. I appreciate the help, it's scary having so many kids in the water. And the kids love the attention.

Emmett and Sarah team up on Carlos, splashing him as he makes exaggerated motions each time the water hits him. Imogene insists on Roman pulling her float back and forth as if she's on a little motor boat. He even makes vroom sounds which spark her laughter like crazy. 

Kendall and Judith splash each other, both more occupied with their battle yells than anyone else. Evelyn clings to Jace's hand while gently bouncing in the water. Jace encourages her but she's still shy around the pond water for some reason.

"Darlin!" Daryl shouts from the shore. I jump up, running to him. He's still in his work clothes, sweaty and dirty but looking smug. Although he does throw a frown at Romans people gathered around our family. I know it's only because hes still feeling overprotective of us.

"Wanna come in the water?" I offer, knowing it'll cool him off but he shakes his head.

"Just checkin on ya," he says, pulling me close for a kiss.

I grin, leaning into him with a soft, "I love you."

He grips my hair, pulling just a little to force my head back. His eyes spark with heat and affection that makes me warm and tingly. The kiss is claiming, overwhelming even. But he stops at just a kiss. 

His hand moves to my stomach, breaking the kiss and giving a playful push to make me stumble back. His lips quirk amused, "Have fun splashin around."

"We will," I answer smiling back at him. The kids shout their greetings and goodbyes. He waves, calling out that he'll see us at home. I slip back in the water to sit near Lenore's float, keeping an eye on all the others the best I can.


	30. Chapter 30: Mature content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content: you can skip if you don't wanna read.

Chapter 30: Mature Content

Carol took the kids to supper for us so Daryl and I could stay home. She left with a smirk and a grinning Merle. The kids don't mind, still excited from the day at the pond.

Daryl lays back on the bed, smirking as I crawl over to him. I grin back, loving the way he looks at me. I also just love looking at him, all strong tight muscles. I shiver just thinking of his arms around me.

We've already showered. He cleaned up while we were swimming and I showered when we got back. We've both been looking forward to this all day.

I stroke my hands up his jeans, loving the strength of his thighs. I shiver as my hands move to his hands and up his arms. He grins, pleased that I want him so much.

I push myself forward, claiming a kiss. He pulls me close, strong arms banding around me as I move to straddle his waist. The kiss alone has a moan escaping me. He chuckles smugly as he releases me to move.

His shirt is his typical button up plaid without sleeves. So I tug open the buttons, pressing a kiss to the skin that's revealed. I start at the top, kissing his collarbone and moving down his chest. I lick and nip and kiss. My thighs shiver, low in my belly a warmth grows.

By the time I get his shirt undone we're both breathing heavy. I kiss and lick along the edge of his pants, feeling him straining against the jeans. I pop the button, sliding the zipper down which makes him sigh in relief.

He sits up, shrugging off his shirt and pushing his pants down. I help him, throwing his boots to the floor as well. Then he lays back down, smirking challengingly to me with his hands behind his head.

I rub my cheek against him, enjoying the feel of smooth warm muscle and the strong scent of him. I press a kiss that makes him sigh. Then I lick from base to tip which earns a gasp. I grin up at him, loving that I get to see him like this, I get to hear him like this.

He laughs, no doubt knowing just what I'm thinking. I press kiss after kiss along the length of him. When that's not enough, I open my mouth to suck gently at the base. He shouts, his stomach muscles jump at the sensation.

I nuzzle him there, enjoying having him laid out before me. Far too often it's him taking me apart with his mouth and hands. So for him to let me return the favor, it's a heady feeling.

I lick long strokes from base to tip. He curses, gripping the pillow beneath his head. His blue eyes blazing with lust as he watches me. I shiver, feeling myself wet just from teasing him.

I take the head into my mouth, sucking gently and lapping at the tip. He laughs darkly, "Darlin, if you don't open your damn mouth I'm gonna spank your ass."

I grin up at him amused at the order. But I open my mouth, pressing a sucking kiss to the base again. He grunts out a curse but grins down at me. I go back to licking and kissing up to the tip again.

I take my time to please him. I savor each gasp, each sigh, and each moan that escapes him. I don't make him wait long before I open my mouth, taking him all the way to the base in one go.

He curses, nearly sitting up in reflex. I choke when he hits the back of my throat but it's easy to let him slide down. Then I pull back, taking a breath and swallowing him down again. 

"Fuck! I love your mouth so damn much," he moans out.

I pull back, grinning, before swallowing him down again. He groans each time, careful not to move his hips although he does bury his hands in my hair. I moan around the length filling my mouth.

He curses, pulling me off of him and kissing me as if he could devour me. I moan, loving his kisses. I could come undone from his kisses alone. My thighs are already wet even though he hasn't touched me yet.

His hands stroke my body. One squeezes my breast while the other slips between my legs. He chuckles drunkenly, "Youre so fucking wet for me, ain't ya Darlin!"

His fingers find the spot, the one that makes me jump and shiver. He bites and sucks at my neck and breast, whispering dirty things in my ear. When he finally slides inside me I burst apart.

He laughs, far to pleased. But he gives me a moment for the world to right itself. Then he's thrusting inside, claiming all of me. I moan, wrapping my legs around him and pressing my heels into the small of his back.

He laughs, sayin all the dirty things he loves about me. He tells me how tight I am, how warm and wet. He tells me how he's going to fuck me until I can't walk. He tells me how I'm his. He repeats that over and over again as he pounds forward until I moan out a nearly painful, "Yours!"

I fall to pieces again. This time he follows me, shouting his release. Both of us panting and gasping as we slowly come down from the high of it.

We cuddle, clinging to each other as sleep pulls us under. I don't worry about the kids because I know Carol and Merle have them. Instead I relax and enjoy this intimacy with my husband.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I have another guard rotation today. The kids want to go swimming again so Carol agrees to take them. The only one I have with me today is Lenore.

We sit back in the lawn chair, relaxing beneath the hot sun. At least it's slightly better in the shade. Unfortunately there is no wind today so it's rather stuffy.

Roman shows up, looking around amused at the lack of kids. I grin, answering the unasked question, "Carol took them swimming."

He laughs, gently poking the baby sleeping naked on my chest. I look down at Lenore, her tiny mouth open and drooling on my chest. "I couldn't part with her so she's my helper today."

He sits down in the chair next to mine, teasing, "Then I certainly won't worry. She's obviously the best at keeping watch."

I laugh as another soft snore escapes her. "So what brought you here today, Roman?"

He looks away, his gaze off in the distance. For a moment he looks lost. And I worry that somehow the memories of before are holding him prisioner. So I touch his arm, carefully in case I need to pull back. He takes my hand, squeezing gently.

"I want to ask you something but I don't want to upset you," he speaks without looking at me.

"We're friends, Roman, you can ask me anything," I reassure him.

He nods, looking up hesitantly, "I need to ask, how old are you?"

"Why do you need to know that?" I ask amused.

He looks down at his hands, clearly concerned, "I know Micah is seven so I have to ask..."

"Oh, no," I catch his arm, understanding what he's really asking. "They're not mine by birth. Lenore is the only one I've carried."

He blinks confused so I explain, "I was at church with my family when the bombs dropped. We lasted a little while, not long. We tried to escape the city in a bus."

I look away as the memories come back. I try to explain even as my vision is full of blood and screams, "We were overrun by cursed. They flipped the bus, eating their way through. Those kids belonged to my church, kept in the middle in case of emergency. I shoved them through an emergency window up onto the side that became the roof."

"You saved them," he says softly.

I give a watery laugh, "I didn't have the damnedest idea what I was doing. If Daryl and Merle hadn't shown up and saved us we would've died as well."

"You didn't meet Daryl until then?"

I shake my head, "They found us and saved us. They've protected us ever since."

He nods, looking thoughtful. His voice hesitant, "How long have you too been intimate?"

I grin, "I don't know, before we got here though."

"And Merle?" He asks hesitantly.

I frown, unsure at the question. But someone probably told him that I was sleeping with both men. I shift uncomfortably, not liking that others judge me for that.

"You don't have to answer," he hurries to say, looking regretful.

I sigh, it's not his fault others gossip about us, "I did sleep with both of them for a while. That stopped when Daryl and I got married."

He nods, looking away, "Silas said they passed you back and forth since the begining."

I shrug, "They shared women even before the end so they wanted to share me too. It wasn't bad or anything. They've both been good men, protective and keeping us well cared for."

He nods, still not looking at me. I try not to get mad about Silas gossiping about us. It's not like we don't know he isn't happy about it. And he's been frosty with Daryl and Merle both. Merle says the whole peacekeeper thing has gone to his head, making him think he's better than others. Hopefully Jonsie and Roman can keep his settled.

I try to change the subject, "How's the case with Thomas coming along? No one's said anything."

For some reason that mess has been nagging at my brain. It's like I've forgotten something but for the life of me I can't remember what it is. There's still a white noise but it's like there's something just beyond that and it feels important.

He blinks startled before answering, "We talked it over and decided to let it go."

"Why?" I ask, even as an image of glasses reflecting the barest touch of light in a dark room fills my mind.

He sighs tiredly, "Because we're certain whoever did it went to your house after. Our best guess is Carl although we're not ruling out Sophia as a possibility."

My brain freezes, startled. The white noise screeches like nails on a chalkboard. Splintered images fill my head. One is me moving up the steep back stairs, guided by the walls because it's too dark to really see. Another is of red, too much red, and a pale face with dark specks on his cheeks.

"No," I struggle out. The memory of washing a hunting knife even if it's clean. Crawling naked into bed and relaxing. Then me standing outside, looking up at the sky as I walk.

"Not my kids!" I gasp out. My hands splattered with red. My clothes having bloodstains on the shirt and jeans as I shove them in the wash with Daryls bloody clothes. For some reason I dont notice the blood.

He holds up his hands, "We won't pursue it. We know they didn't mean for the others to die. No one wants to punish a kid."

I shake my head. The dark room is barely brighter than the hall was. The body bundled beneath the blanket is sleeping soundly. Silver flashes followed by warm red spraying the wall.

"We understand why they did it," he says softly.

"No, not them," I beg him, my body trembling. "You can't blame them for this! Please don't blame them for this!"

He moves closer, hugging me and whispering comfort. But it doesn't help because they think Sophia or Carl did it. They think it and they'll tell everyone it's true. Then people will turn on them! Doesnt he realize that?

"You can't blame them," I cling to him, begging. I only distantly hear Lenore fussing from being disturbed. "They'll turn on them! Mob mentality, you said it yourself. The community will blame them and they'll hurt them. Please!"

He whispers more but I don't hear it. All I see is Sophia and Carl running scared, chased from the community for something they didn't even do. I see them starving, eaten alive by cursed, falling prey to the living.

"No! I did it," I pull back, clinging to him. He pulls Lenore from my chest, holding her careful as I tremble against him. "Please! I did it. I'll confess! I'll confess in front of the council. You can tell everyone it was me. Please don't blame my kids."

Sobs erupt from deep within my chest. I can't breathe, can't catch my breath. I struggle out a please, repeating it over and over. He holds me, soothing me while also holding Lenore. 

I can't even try to calm myself. Even when he promises that I can confess. Even when he tries to sooth me with promises. I cry until I collapse weakly against him. And he holds me, careful to watch Lenore as well which I do appreciate. 


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

The trial is held before the full council. If you can even call it a trial. It's clear they don't believe me but they're willing to let me confess all the same.

They set a chair against the wall for me to sit in. Jonsie, Silas, and Roman have three chairs facing me although they look annoyed that I'm insisting on this. Miranda has a new notebook entitled trials that she's taking notes in. The rest of the council sits uncomfortably around the table.

Roman begins, "We are here today to accept the confession of Charlie Dixon, mother of Micah Dixon, in the murder of Thomas James and the unintentional deaths of Rose Moore and Kiara. This confession will be taken by Roman Wesen, Silas Andrews, and Jonsie."

We give Miranda a moment to get that down. Once she nods that she's ready, Roman asks, "Charlie, could you please tell us what happened on the night in question."

I take a breath, struggling to make sense of the jumbled memories in my head. I answer, "I took a knife. We keep a few weapons in the RV in case of emergency so I took a hunting knife from there. No one else knew because they were all asleep."

I glance up, hoping they believe me. Silas doesn't even pretend to. He frowns back with his arms crossed and an annoyed look in his eye. Jonsie doesn't argue, he even smiles, but it's clear he doesn't believe me either.

"I went across the street, through the kitchen so no one would see," I add, remembering the kitchen. "There's stairs in there, you know, and Thomas's room is at the top of those stairs."

Silas snorts in disbelief but doesnt comment. Roman motions me to continue so I do, "I went in his room and slit his throat. Then I went home."

"That's it?" Silas asks even as Roman and Jonsie both motion for him to stop. "His throat was cut clear to the bone and there were stab wounds on his chest."

"Yes! I did that," I hurry to reassure them. He shakes his head but Roman motions me to continue. I scratch at my arms, unable to really remember clearly what I did but I won't let them blame the kids for this. 

I tell them, "I was furious at him for what he did. I was scared he would get away with it. So I stabbed him and slit his throat. His blood got everywhere on the bed and walls."

"You didn't get blood on you?" Silas asks, pursing his lips in certainty that I'm lying.

"I cleaned up when I got home," I answer easily.

"Where's the knife?" Jonsie asks calmly.

"I put it back," I tell them uncertainly. Honestly, I don't remember that part. I remember washing it but I don't remember where I put it after that.

Roman nods, glancing over at Miranda to be sure she's keeping up. She nods that she's ready although she doesn't look too happy. Neither does any of the other council members though.

None of them believe me. None of them think I did it. They all think it was one of the kids, Carl or Sophia. But I won't let them pin this on our kids. I can't allow it! 

"My clothes had blood but I washed them on laundry day," I assure them, more certain even if I'm not. "No one noticed the blood because Daryls clothes were bloody from butchering the pigs for supper."

Silas glances back at the table, glaring challengingly as he asks, "Y'all agree with her?"

Daryl nods his agreement but doesnt look over or comment. Merle scoffs but waves his agreement. Carol adds softly, "There was blood in the adults laundry, not the kids, so it's perfectly reasonable."

I nod, pointing to Carol as if that's proof enough. I know they don't believe me and I understand why. Hell, I can't remember clearly what happened. But I won't allow them to pin the blame on an innocent kid!

"So you killed him and cleaned up?" Jonsie asks, humoring me. "Why did you not take out the brain?"

I stumble over my words, trying to explain, "I... I was just so... So angry. I just...just... I just wanted to stop him... to punish him... And I forgot."

Silas looks back incredulously, "You forgot? How many times have you gone on runs? How many times have you guarded the border? How many cursed have you killed? And you expect us to believe you just forgot?"

I shift uncomfortably but hurry to reply, "I wanted him to suffer, to choke on his own blood. I wanted him to turn, to kill him again. I just didn't think anyone else would get hurt."

Roman nods, "We know the deaths of Rose and Kiara were unintentional. No one will be punished for that."

"What about you going into shock?" Silas blurts out. "You didn't fake that shit!"

I shake my head, "I just panicked is all."

Roman glares at Silas but it does little to stop him. "Why did you wait so long to come forward? Why did you act innocent?"

I shrug helplessly, "I think I had a breakdown and... forgot?"

Roman rubs his face, "Alright, enough! We agreed to accept this confession and close the investigation."

"But she's obviously lying!" Silas argues.

Jonsie grabs his arm warningly, whispering to him. Roman turns to the council, asking, "Does anyone object to this confession?"

"What's gonna happen to her for confessin?" Merle asks concerned.

Roman shakes his head, "Nothing. This is just for our records. We've already decided there will be no punishment."

Daryl throws a pen to bounce across the table, "Then why the fuck are y'all insisting on her confessin?"

Roman holds out his hands helplessly, "She wants this case closed with her named as the guilty party so it's not noted that one of the kids did it."

"They didn't do it!" I blurt out. "My kids didn't kill anyone! Tell them Daryl! Tell them it wasn't our kids!"

He sighs, looking away but answering, "It wasn't our fucking kids!"

Merle snorts, "Yeah, it was Charlie. She just faked that whole catatonic thing. Really commited cause she didnt respond when Daryl let Lenny feed or when he pumped her tits for milk."

A few snort, including Carol and Daryl. I glare watery at them. I know they don't believe me but surely they understand why the peacekeepers blaming our kids is dangerous. What if they come back later and try to punish them for a crime they didn't commit? I can't allow that! And I can't shake off the fear either.

Roman calls a close to the trial. Miranda smiles that she's got it all written up for our records. Roman again points out that the case is closed and no punishments will be sought. 

He signs his full name, motioning Silas and Jonsie to signs theirs as our peacekeepers. Then the council takes turns signing, none looking happy about doing so. And lastly they have me sign.

Daryl grabs my wrist, pulling me from the house. Merle and Carol follow close behind. I scrub at my cheeks, trying to wipe away the few tears that escaped. 

I know Daryl is mad at me. I know he doesn't believe that I did it. They all think I'm lying to protect the kids. But as long as they don't hurt our kids, I don't care what they believe. I just don't want them to be blamed for something they didn't do.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Daryl and Merle have a run coming up. In fact, all run teams are going. It's in a high school turned evacuation center that's been overwhelmed with cursed for a while now. 

Our team will hit the medical care trailers. Glenns group will hit the food stores while Michonne's hits the weapons that we believe is on the opposite end. The other teams will hit the rest and gather anything salvageable.

A group went out yesterday on motorcycles to lure the cursed away so it should be easier to deal with. Not that it will be completely clear but at least the bulk of cursed should be gone. Or that's our hope at any rate.

Carol agreed to stay behind with the kids. We haven't restarted any classes yet. In fact, the schoolhouse has been empty since the deaths. So someone has to keep the kids every day.

Usually Carol goes out but ive been feeling anxious for a while so I asked her to let me have a turn. She agreed easily. Apparently she wants to talk with Sophia about Carl again. I tell her to give them a chance or she's going to chase her daughter off. She huffed annoyed but agreed.

Roman caught us as we were heading out from the pavilion. I explained the plan for the run and that I would be going. He asked, "Don't suppose I could tag along?"

I guess he wants to help out with a run so I agree. He grins happily, "I've been thinking about going on a run, I just wasn't sure how to arrange it."

Daryl frowns when Roman climbs into the back of the truck with Colt, Dodger, and Bonnie. They're the bikers that make up Merles team. I explain to them all that Roman is joining us because he wants to learn to go on runs for the community. Daryl isn't happy but he allows it.

We drive out to the school, four pickup trucks and two moving trucks. There's still a few cursed behind a broken fence but it's not as bad as it could be. We brought quiet weapons, bows and swords mostly but we all have guns too. I pick up my crossbow, smaller and lighter than Daryls.

I follow at the back of the group, pointing out who's in each run team and what they'll be doing. We try to be organized on runs to maximize our success. He compliments us, admitting that we have a good system set up.

We follow Daryl and Merle off to the left. There's four trailers with big red crosses on the outside and that's our destination. Hopefully they'll have some good supplies inside.

"Listen up," Merle calls to us, "Daryl and Charlie take the first one. Bonnie and Dodger, y'all take the second one. Me, Colt, and Roman will take the third one. As soon as you finish, move to the next in line."

Daryl moves up to the open doorway, crossbow up and ready. I follow behind him, waiting for him to step inside. He fires one shot, frowning down at the floor of the trailer in concern.

The trailer is a mess of bloodstains and overturned supplies. There's one corpse curled in the corner with an arrow in its head. But beyond that it looks clear.

I pull the sports bag off my back, opening it up and pulling out the other bags shoved inside. Then I start opening cabinets, taking everything within. There's plastic bins of supplies such as bandage rolls, alcohol wipes, and needles and syringes. I gather them all. 

One cabinet has bins full of blood tubes so I take them all. Another has these wierd bottles that look like Tabasco bottles only the liquid inside is dark. Daryl shrugs when I show him but I gather them anyways. 

We get the first one cleared and slip down the steps. Daryl leads us to the fourth that's still closed up. He opens the door, crossbow ready but he doesn't fire. He steps inside, checking carefully before waving me inside.

This trailer is some kind of lab. There's a long counter that stretches the right side, several instruments sit on it. The other wall has refrigerators full of boxes. 

I bag up the reagents first as they'll take the most room. As I fill the bags I pass them to Daryl who sets them outside the door. Those take up three big bags.

The counter with the instruments has a few cabinets and drawers beneath. I open them, taking the tubes and reagents and various books that claim to be quick references for the machines. 

Daryl helps me unhook the machines. He even calls over the walkie he carries to ask for assistance moving the instruments. Merle, Colt, and Roman show up to help. I direct them to carry the instrument I've already unhooked. The wires and plugs get bundled in a backpack while I move to the next instrument.

They return, each time taking an instrument and as many bags as they can. It takes about half an hour to get them all unhooked and packed up in the moving truck. Other teams seem to be doing well. In fact, Glenns group has a forklift moving a huge stack of food on a wooden palate.

We move to the next trailer in our set. We work on it for another hour, everything going smoothly. Then comes the call we didnt want. 

"A herds coming this way," Eddie calls. He's our lookout for this trip.

We scramble back inside the nearest trailer. Only there's gunshots. Gunshots from near the food area. And it draws the herd straight inside.

The walkies crackle with calls of warning and pleas for help. Merle takes everyone but me out and up on the roof. They'll shoot as many cursed as they can while I finish collecting the medicine from the pharmacy trailer.

Normally I would be shooting as well but this trailer is full of medicine that's too important to ignore. So I keep working, trusting them to warn me if it gets too dangerous. Hopefully they can take out the herd.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Gunshots keep popping but I keep working. Already I have three backpacks full of supplies. I have them sitting near the door so we can grab and run as soon as they call me to.

We've gone on enough runs that we don't panic just because the cursed are nearby. Daryl and Merle are both stubborn and skilled enough to hold their ground. I don't worry so much for them because I know they'll survive. I don't worry about myself because I know they'll protect me. But I do worry that we may lose a few people from this mess.

Regardless of the danger, we have to keep working. This is an important task and these supplies are too good to ignore or abandon. So I keep filling the bags, stuffing them full with medicine. 

It's odd how you can become accustomed to things. The first time I heard a gunshot, it froze me solid. The first time I heard a lot of gunfire I couldn't stop shaking. Now I keep moving, unbothered by the noise outside.

At least there are no screams. That makes me hopeful that we'll have this mess cleared up without losses. Although that's probably niave of me to think that. With this many cursed there's is bound to be loss. 

The door opens, Roman jumping in. He looks around desperately, "We gotta go! There more than a hundred biters still out there."

How? There shouldn't be a herd that big. Where in the world do they keep coming from? And why didn't they call a retreat over the walkies.

I snatch up the walkie, calling for an update. Several voices reply that they're pinned down by groups. Glenn says hes pinned in a car that he's using to lure the cursed away but most are to drawn by the gunshots to be lured away. I don't hear from Daryl or Merle though.

Roman tries to pull me to follow but I dig in my heels, "We don't panic! We stick to the plan and hold our positions until the retreat is called."

"But they're gathering out there!" He exclaims, pointing at the open doorway as he fires out of it.

The radio crackles to life, Michonne calling out, "I'm calling retreat! I repeat, I'm calling retreat."

I grab a bag, drawing my gun and slipping my crossbow over my shoulder. Roman grabs the other two bags, his gun still up. He jumps back outside, shooting the three cursed closing in. Unfortunately it draws the attention of several more.

I fire into the crowd, looking around desperately for my family but I don't see them. Roman grabs my arm, pulling me to run behind him. I struggle to keep up, mostly because we're going the wrong way. 

I try to tell him but he says, "It's blocked that way! We'll circle around if we can but we can't get past the herd."

I have no choice but to follow him. We're honestly so busy shooting at the cursed herd following that I don't have time to even notice where we're going. Roman leads us through a broken part of the fence. Then we're running down a road towards several houses.

I try to move towards a house but he argues, "The herd will just overwhelm the house. We need to go further first."

I hear the loud engines of the big trucks firing up. At least others are getting the supplies out. And there's still a symphony of gunshots echoing behind us. By the sound of it there's still plenty of survivors.

I wonder briefly why the call to retreat. I try the radio, breathlessly calling for Daryl and Merle. Other voices call out orders and responses but I don't hear them.

We turn a corner, taking another street between two rows of houses. I call out our location and demand Daryl or Merle respond. The radio is getting too far out so the voices are no longer as clear. I still don't hear their voices.

I struggle to keep up with the heavy bag weighing me down. My gun clicks empty so I holster it, pulling my crossbow back around. It's not as fast as my gun but it'll work.

Roman grabs my wrist, pulling me to cut through the yard between two houses. I drop my radio but I can't stop long enough to grab it. I slip, tripping over an overturned kids bike in the overgrown grass. He pulls me to keep running, not letting go.

We run for perhaps two miles before we're enough ahead to slip into a house. It's an older home with dark windows and old blood long since dried up. We shove through the locked door, Roman kicking it open then we huridly shut it.

Both of us are sweaty and gasping but we work together to block the door and windows and hurriedly clear the house. Then we settle down in the master bedroom to wait for the herd to pass. Hopefully they won't follow us here. We both hurry to reload our guns. I curse when I see I only have three bullets and two arrows left. 

My hands are trembling and I'm terribly thirsty but we don't have any water with us. All we have is the medicine I gathered. It'll be good to take back but it doesn't help us now.

"We need water," I whisper to him.

He frowns, "We don't want to attract their attention but maybe we can slip into the kitchen. Stay behind me, understood."

We leave the bags and slip back out into the hall. The kitchen is a mess and there's no water but we do find some sodas and some sports drinks. We gather them as well as a jar of peanut butter and a sleeve of crackers. Then we slip back into the bedroom to hide.

We settle down back in the master bedroom. The sports drink is a little too salty sour for my taste but it's better than nothing. And when Roman hands me a spoonful of peanut butter I accept it.

But now that were not running I can't help but worry. Why did Roman leave his post? Why didn't Daryl and Merle respond when I called for them?

I look over at him, watching me licking the spoon absentmindedly. The question is out before I can think, "What happened? Why did you leave your post?"

He blinks, looks away nervously and answers without looking back, "We were on a trailer shooting the herd. But they hit the side, made it tip and we all fell. Next thing I know the biters are everywhere so I ran to get you."

I freeze, my mind swirling with thoughts. They weren't that far from me so shouldn't I have heard the trailer fall? Shouldn't I have heard them scream?

I shake my head, "No, that can't be."

He looks back, saying gently, "I'm sorry but they fell. There was too many cursed."

That doesn't make sense! "Where were y'all positioned?"

"We were split," he answers softly. "Me and the Dixons were at the first trailer while Bonnie and Dodger ran for a truck. Colt was pinned inside the trailer but he kept shooting out the window."

The first trailer wasn't far from me! I would've heard them scream if they had been overrun. And I would've noticed it being tipped when we ran out. Even if we did run the other way, I would've noticed.

"The trailer didn't look tipped over," I point out suspiciously.

He sighs frustrated, "It didn't tip completely, it tipped some, enough to make us fall off. But they quit pushing it when we hit the ground."

That doesn't sound right either. But there's noting I can do right now. I do tell him that we need to search for a car or something to get back home. He nods his agreement but looks away thoughtful.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Roman wanted to stay the night in that house. It took me crying for him to agree to move. I just want to go home, I want my kids. I never should've come on this run.

We move through the backyard to the house behind it. This one had a small child and a nursery setup for another one. Roman got excited, said we could stay the night there and take the supplies back. Something in his gaze bothers me so I refuse. I tell him that I want to go home.

We argued for an hour before he agreed that we should leave. Thankfully there was a small black car in the garage that cranked on instantly. Roman insisted on driving after we loaded it down with the medicine bags and the food and drinks we scavenged from the house.

My stomach stays in knots the whole time he's driving. It feels like we're going further away and when I point that out he says we have to avoid the herd. Night comes while we're still too far away and he refuses to drive at night. We have no choice but to bed down in a house until morning.

I barely sleep, feeling far too anxious. He insisted that we share the bed so I curled up against the wall, hugging a pillow to my chest. It didn't stop him from repeatedly reaching for me but each time I would shrug him off. He would frown but at least he didn't get mad.

Morning comes and we only leave because I'm climbing into the car. Again he insists on driving so I allow it. He also tries to hold my hand or rest his hand on my leg. That I didn't allow although he kept sending me hurt looks.

We pass the intersection by early afternoon. My legs are bouncing with the need to hurry, we're so close now. I breath a sigh of relief when the main gate comes into view. We made it home!

Billy lets us in but insists on a bite check. I don't even care so I strip down, turn quickly, and ask to leave. He waves me off so I climb into the drivers side of the car. Roman jumps in on the passenger side, ignoring Billy calling him back.

I speed down the road, watching in the rearview mirror as Billy calls over the radio. Roman tells me to slow down but I can't. Not when I'm this close. "I need my family! I need to see them and know they're okay."

He smiles, "Youre a good mother but you worry too much. They're fine! Now slow down a little or you'll scare everyone driving up like this."

I drive past the open fence that marks the halfway point. The pavilion comes up, a small parking lot to the right of it next to the wall. So I swerve the car onto the dirt lot and shut it off.

Silas and Jonsie are both stalking up from the pavilion. I hurry over, feeling desperation clawing at my insides, "Did they make it back? We got seperated. Did they make it?"

The two share a look, neither happy. It's Jonsie that tells me, "Head over to the infirmary, Charlie. Lisa and Hershel are waiting for you."

My stomach drops, my knees tremble. I can barely speak to ask, "What happened? Who's hurt?"

Roman steps up, placing a concerned hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off, heading past the others to the open gate. The pavilion is oddly empty, the whole area quiet as I move to pass. Only movement catches my eye.

The cages we built along the wall, one isn't empty. I step closer, recognizing the broad shoulders, the familiar shaved head. His faded brown shirt is stained with blood, soaked all down the left side.

"Merle?" I call cautiously.

I hear CB curse as he runs to me. I hear Roman arguing loudly with Silas and Jonsie. I hear Robert call my name, his voice thick with concern.

But none of them matter. Because Merle turns at my call. Only it's not Merle anymore.

His blue eyes are fogged over. His hands reach out, bite riddled arms pushing through the bars. His mouth open, teeth bared.

I stumble, my knees give out and I drop to the ground. His movements are clumsy as he tries to reach for me again. The front of his shirt is soaked through. And this time I recognize bullet holes in his shirt where it's soaked the most.

A shrill keening noise claws it's way out of my chest. I gasp and choke and vomit escapes me to spill on the grass. Dead fingers reach for me, almost touching as my stomach heaves again and again.

CB pulls at me, moving me back from its reaching hands. I'm sobbing, gasping for each painful breath. Robert is on my other side, both trying to pull me away.

They walk me from the cage, leaving the cursed behind. My legs tremble, buckling repeatedly as the two men half carry me further away from him. I don't even notice our destination until I see the council gathered, a crying Carol seated with her head in her hands.

She looks away from me and that hurts like a slap in the face. Lisa is there, bundling me away through to the isolated room in what was the dining room. The garage is still used for the less critical patients. Which makes me dizzy because this can only mean one thing.

He's laying on the bed, eyes closed but still breathing. His vest and shirt are gone. Thick white bandages wrap around his chest.

Hershels talking, "The first was a through and through but the second got lodged in a rib. We've finished the surgery and we've given him a transfusion so between us, I think he'll pull through."

"Not bit?" I ask, barely able to hear him beyond the roaring in my ears.

I'm not stupid, I know what this means. He was shot. So was Merle. And Merle turned, became cursed. 

"Shot in the back," Hershel answers, "not bitten."

Shot in the back. Shot by one of our own. By the only other person with them at the time. 

I hear Romans voice in the other room. He's talking to the council, telling them how we got seperated. I ignore the words because they're all lies. He did this. He did this!

The gun in my hand barks before I even realize I've aimed it. His head explodes in a rush of red mist that sprays the table and council members alike. His body falls heavily to the floor, unmoving.

Jonsie yanks the gun from my hand and I let it go. The room tilts and Hershel grabbing my arm is the only thing holding me up. Silas yells, others shout out startled.

I try to tell them that he lied. I try to tell them that he shot them, he did this. I'm not sure how much they understand.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Ten year pass quickly. Carol left our home, unable to stay now that Merle is dead. She moved into the old schoolhouse with her girls. We're civil when we talk but it's clear that she holds me responsible.

She has moved on though, dating a newcomer named Owen. He's a friendly enough guy, tall but very mellow. Glenn found him alone hiding in a neighborhood nearby.

Sophia started dating Carl five years ago. If you can say it that way because they went from saying they're dating to asking Hershel to marry them in the span of a month. They live in a train car in the extension now. Their little girl is barely a week old.

Daryl healed but even now he mourns his brother. I see how he sometimes looks around at a loss without Merle's presence, especially as our family grows. We've had five more kids, one girl and four boys. Our first son we named Merle in his honor.

Daryl started taking the kids hunting with him and Koda. It was just Micah and Emmett at first but Sarah and Lenny soon followed. Now when he heads off to hunt it's with a line of kids following behind.

I haven't gone beyond the border again. Honestly, I rarely leave beyond the wall unless I'm helping in the fields or taking the family to the pond. I don't sit the council any more either. And I don't help with new arrivals.

The council held a trial. Roman was guilty of shooting both Merle and Daryl in the back and shoving them off the trailer and into a group of cursed. That's how Merle got bitten, shielding Daryl. Colt was witness, hurrying to the brothers aid.

According to Silas, Roman did it to protect me. He was convinced that Daryl abused me and he wanted to kill them to protect me. He also said Roman was obsessed with me to a point that worried his group.

I beat myself up for not noticing. Daryl doesn't blame me but he doesn't have to. Every time I see the bullet wound scars I know it was my fault. I remember the sight of Merles cursed corpse reaching for me.

I refused to put my family at risk again. So I stepped down from the council and I avoid any newcomers until I'm sure they're sane. Even then, I cling desperately to Daryls side, terrified of loosing him.

He left the council too, more tired than anything. He goes hunting with Koda and the kids and he helps tend the deer and goat herds we have within the wall. It's enough to keep him busy without putting our family in danger.

Maggie and Glenn with their three boys tend to the horses and cows. Hershel visits often, adoring all of his grandchildren. And he's finally warmed to Caleb, happily welcoming the twin boys and three girls that they've had.

I finish braiding Sarah's hair, patting her shoulder to show I'm done. He's taking them out again today but only to the extension farm. They're going to learn how to butcher the cows today.

I press a kiss to our kids cheeks and his scruffy one. He presses his hand on my belly, knowing as I do that me being late usually means one thing. And he smiles, relaxed and happy as our family grows.

I keep the youngest three home, little Lily, Asher, and our youngest, Eli. We spend the morning reading, fingerpainting, and folding clothes. They're not as much help at the last but they try.

Daryl returns home late in the afternoon. I send him and the kids off to the bathrooms to bathe. They will probably use up both of our water barrels but it'll be alright. The weather has been rainy lately so they'll fill back up quick enough.

We eat supper at the pavilion. Micah sits with Abigale and another new girl named Shea. Emmett stays close to Daryls side while Sarah flutters around from group to group. Daryl says she gets it from me but he keeps a protective eye on her just like I do.

Our community has weathered sickness that took Dale, Silas, and seven other people two years after I left the council. We had another group try to attack us, leading a herd to our door. But we held the border and defended our own, loosing Eddie in the process. We even had a drought three years ago that had us all worried but we've persevered through it all.

Life isn't perfect but it never was. We just keep doing the best we can with what we have. And our community is a good one, a strong one. We couldn't ask for better.

At times it's difficult to believe we've come so far. There are times I wonder if this life is all that's left for our children to know. But I'm grateful for the safety and security that we have. All we can do is prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and help each other through the storms as they come.


End file.
